Total pages in book: 63
Estimated words: 58346 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 292(@200wpm)___ 233(@250wpm)___ 194(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 58346 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 292(@200wpm)___ 233(@250wpm)___ 194(@300wpm)
She truly only desires me.
And aren’t I the most wretched male on the face of the planet to not appreciate such loyalty?
“So, Roman,” Doc prompts, and I turn my head to see he’s already sitting in his leather chair, his notepad balanced on one thick thigh, his pen in his hand.
I sink down onto the couch next to my wife and take her hand, pulling it over to rest our wrists on my leg. She doesn’t move closer, but she doesn’t pull away either. In fact, her fingers tighten between my own, locking them together instead of keeping them limp. I take that as a good sign.
“In the recent session I had with Savannah, she informed me of what happened the night of our New Year’s celebration, at least from her point of view. Would you like to begin there, and then we’ll backtrack to get the rest of the story?” he asks, jumping right in, and my pulse picks up.
I side-eye my wife, wanting to wrap her in my arms and hold her so she can’t run away from this conversation but instead deciding to do the opposite and treat her like a skittish cat—no sudden movements.
I clear my throat and begin. “That night wasn’t my finest moment in my life, and I wish I would’ve had my whits about me whenever she saw those messages. But as you know, a lot of us guys got pretty drunk when you threw in the free bottle of liquor for body shots taken off one’s sub.” I let out a tense chuckle, shaking my head. “And I’m always up for any excuse for my mouth to be on Savannah, especially when there are spectators.”
“Roman,” my wife scolds in a whisper, and I squeeze her hand.
“Baby, there’s no need to play coy here. Doc knows the ins and outs of almost all our kinks and boundaries. There’s no point in being PC with our own therapist,” I tell her. “I want everything out in the open, nothing held back, so we can get to the part where we can fix things.”
She narrows her eyes on me, a hint of rage sparking in her green depths before it disappears, smothered either by her submission to me or from some perverse self-preservation. But it doesn’t stop the words that leave her full lips. “If only you’d been so open and willing to not hold things back a year ago. Then we wouldn’t have anything to fix, now would we?”
Doc watches us closely when she snaps her mouth shut. He’s probably waiting for me to come out swinging and defensive.
He’d be waiting a long time for that.
Instead, I say, “That’s fair. You’re right. But I can’t change the past. All I can do is never be that stupid again in the future.”
I see Doc relax just a fraction, a minute lowering of his shoulders that seem to strain the seams of his shirt.
I can only imagine the types of people he encounters while providing couples’ counselling, especially if they’re members of our club. And it makes me wonder if he’s come across someone like me, a man with an absolutely perfect wife who has never done a damn thing wrong, in addition to being my perfect submissive, yet I had still wanted more.
Still want more.
Not past tense.
Those desires are still well and truly thriving inside me. And I think they would continue to do so even if I had fulfilled the fantasy with someone else. Because a huge part of the fantasy is fulfilling it with Savannah herself. The woman of my fucking dreams. The woman I’m the luckiest man in the goddamn world to be married to, who once worshiped the ground I walked on the way I do the same for her.
My next thought comes out in a low but steady tone. “No matter how hard I try to push my dark desires out of my mind, telling myself that some things are meant to stay in a fantasy world and not acted upon in reality, I can’t make this one go away. Therefore, I tried my best to get it out of me, to dump it on some other person I didn’t care a single bit about, so that darkness wouldn’t touch my sweet Savvy.” I glance over at her, her expression stunned.
“Did you…?” Her words are cut off by an involuntary gulp, so she tries again. “Did you act out a fantasy with her too?” Her chin wobbles. “I thought… I thought you never touched—”
“No. I never acted out anything with her. And I never once touched her. I swear to you,” I say earnestly, willing her to believe me, because it’s the God’s honest truth.
“Roman, why don’t you tell me what happened. From the beginning,” Doc inserts, changing his original plan.