Total pages in book: 88
Estimated words: 87573 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 438(@200wpm)___ 350(@250wpm)___ 292(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 87573 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 438(@200wpm)___ 350(@250wpm)___ 292(@300wpm)
I exhaled slowly through my nose and stepped farther away from my clients. “Bails, we talked about this. You don’t need to get a job. You need to focus on school and getting into college this year.”
“I am. I mean…I will,” she stuttered.
“Did Dad put you up to this?”
She hesitated for a fraction of a second too long, and a fiery pit of anger erupted in my stomach. I tried to force it down. There was only so much that I could do from Lubbock. I felt guilty enough, not being in Midland for Bailey, but this was another line that man was crossing.
“He did, didn’t he?” I asked furiously. “He needs to back off. I am working so that you don’t have to.”
“I want to help. I already owe you so much.”
She sounded so much like the small girl I’d helped raise after our mom ditched us. She might be seven years younger than me, but we’d always been so much closer than other siblings I knew. Gram had done what she could to keep us together after Mom left, and I did what I could for Bailey. Dad certainly wasn’t helpful. The only thing he’d done was keep Gram from getting custody of us both.
Things I couldn’t change or do anything about. It made me want to burn the entire world down.
“You don’t owe me anything. Dad and I have an agreement, Bails.”
“Yeah, but—”
“Is he around? Put him on the phone.”
“He’s not here,” she said with a sigh.
“Then, I’ll call him. You know you have to bring your GPA up if you want to get into college. That’s your entire focus.”
“I know. I know. Okay. Don’t call Dad. I don’t want to have to hear it from him, too.”
“Bails—”
“It’s fine, Evie. I’ll go do my summer reading.”
“Bails,” I repeated with a sigh.
My anger dissipated as soon as it had come. I was left with an exhaustion that I couldn’t escape for the life of me. Running my own life was impossible. Being two hours away and trying to help run Bailey’s was so much worse.
“It’s fine,” she repeated. “I get it. I know what the stakes are.”
“I’m sorry,” I told her earnestly. “I really am. Just stop listening to everything Dad says. You know I’d have you here with me if I could.”
“I know. Love you.”
“Love you, too.”
I hung up the phone and breathed out heavily. Well, that couldn’t have gone worse. I was too young to be an overbearing parent to my seventeen-year-old sister. Fuck. It had been a while since I’d let this feeling settle over me. I wanted to cry, but I just wasn’t there yet. I needed to process this.
“Eve?” my client called from the other room.
I swallowed back my feelings and strode back into the living room. “Sorry about that. What do you think?”
“We love it,” she said. “We’re going to need to bring our daughter to see it before we put in an offer. Are you free again tomorrow?”
“Sure. Luckily, the sellers have already moved. So, the place is open whenever you’re free.”
“Perfect. We’ll be in touch.”
I shook hands with them both and then walked them to the front. They got into their shiny Audi SUV and drove away while I locked up the house. It was a nice place. Nothing I could afford. Not with everything saddled on my shoulders.
I slid my arms out of my blazer. It was too damn hot out here. I tossed it into the passenger seat of my 4Runner and cranked the air conditioner.
My head tipped back on the headrest, and I fought back tears. God, I hated this. I hated every bit of this. The feeling of helplessness. Like no move I made was forward. It was always a sidestep in an endless game that I was one step away from losing completely.
I didn’t know what to do about Bailey. I didn’t know what to do about Dad. I didn’t know how I could keep going without Gram. I ran my finger across the inside of my bicep, where the words Be here now were written in her familiar scrawl. That had been her motto. The words she’d always used for me when I was struggling. I had to stay here in the moment. I had to keep moving even if it was sideways instead of forward.
My hands shook on the steering wheel. I clenched it harder to try to get them to stop. Usually, Gram’s words helped, but right now, I felt unglued.
“Fuck!” I yelled into the empty vehicle.
I dug my phone back out and opened the last text from Whitt. He’d responded to me a few times while I was inside. Flirty things. I scrolled up and again read the message where he’d invited me over. Maybe…maybe I should do that. Maybe it’d be good to be held by someone right now.