Total pages in book: 95
Estimated words: 85183 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 426(@200wpm)___ 341(@250wpm)___ 284(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 85183 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 426(@200wpm)___ 341(@250wpm)___ 284(@300wpm)
The door clicks open and I look up as Jude walks into the room. My heart leaps into a sprint, and my skin breaks out in a cold sweat as the door slams shut behind him with a heavy finality. Our eyes lock, and a barrage of emotions hit me. I never thought I would see him again, and the sight of him has a sob tearing from my throat. I press my hand over my mouth, and the lines attached to my arm pull tight.
He's by my side in an instant, gently brushing a finger over my cheek. "I'm sorry, Tor."
I've never heard his voice so soft before. I squeeze my eyes shut, unable to look at him as the emotional war wages inside me. His eyes trace over my face. His hair is a mess, and dark circles have formed under his eyes. I've never seen him appear anything other than completely controlled, the master of his own empire. Now, though, he just looks destroyed. His brother died. Caleb died. I want to feel for him, but I'm too consumed by own grief. I wish I could say something, but there's nothing to say. His brother died trying to save me.
"Tor," he whispers.
I twist my face away from him. I can't look at him. I feel everything all at once, and it's too much, so I switch it all off. I don't want to feel.
"Tor." He sweeps a finger over my cheek, and I flinch instinctually. Jude backs away from the edge of the bed and sighs. "I need you to know when I said what I did. I..." He shakes his head before continuing. "He needed to believe you were nothing. Anyone who means something to me ends up dead," his voice breaks.
I remember the exact moment I heard those words because it was the moment I gave up. It was the moment I realised I was nothing, and no help was coming. It was the moment that shattered me, and no words can put those splintered pieces back together.
"You're everything," he breathes.
I don't want to be everything. I accepted my fate; I accepted that I meant nothing to him. I was willing to die. I welcomed it. The second I heard Caleb's voice on the other end of that phone, my only wish was that Jude would keep him safe.
He failed.
I wish I had been the one who died because living with Caleb's loss is an agony I can't bear. I close my eyes, and I can still see his smiling face, that trace of innocence I knew he would never truly lose because he was good in every way that mattered. He died trying to save me, and his loss is a pain I can't even begin to describe. So I switch it off. Call it self-preservation. There's only so much one mind can take before it snaps.
"Please go," I whisper without looking at him.
His eyebrows pull together in a dark frown, and he stalks towards me like the predator he is. His fingers wrap around my chin, forcing my eyes to his. "You have been through hell. I get that, but you listen to me, you are not nothing, you are everything." My chest tightens, and tears prickle my eyes. "He took Caleb from me, don't let him take you too." His voice is barely above a whisper as he stares at me, begging me with his eyes. I know I should feel something at his words, but I don't. I can't.
There's a knock on the door, and a doctor walks into the room carrying a clipboard. He flashes me a broad smile that I don't return.
"Miss Pearson, I'm Doctor Perry. How are you feeling?" I remain silent, and he clears his throat. "We need to discuss what happened to you—"
"I want him to leave," I quickly say, pointing at Jude.
"Why do I need to leave?" Jude's jaw clenches and I can tell he's fighting back the urge to throw a few curse words in there.
I direct my gaze toward the doctor, pleading.
"At her request, I need to speak with her alone. Please excuse us, Mr. Pearson."
Jude rises, glaring at the doctor the entire way to the door. He opens it and glances back at me. "I'm gonna go smoke. I'll be right back."
The door clicks shut, and the doctor glances at me. "How are you feeling?" he repeats.
"Fine."
Physically I'm as well as can be expected, mentally, I will never be fine.
He nods. "You've been through a lot. The infection you had has cleared up; all the labs have come back negative for organisms. I think you'll be able to leave in a few days."
He's looking at me, and I know that look. There is something he's not said yet because he's not exactly sure how to broach it.