Total pages in book: 81
Estimated words: 79147 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 396(@200wpm)___ 317(@250wpm)___ 264(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 79147 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 396(@200wpm)___ 317(@250wpm)___ 264(@300wpm)
“I just miss him.”
“That’s okay.”
“No, it’s really not. I know he’s probably back home hooking up with some guy, and it shouldn’t make me sad.”
“It’s not an issue that he’s hooking up with someone else.”
“That’s not it,” I say. “It’s just…I wish I was there with him. Not even hooking up. Sitting around the condo or drinking wine and talking about stupid shit. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to ruin your night.”
A tear falls from his eye and runs down his cheek.
“That’s really fucking sweet,” he says.
“Oh, don’t cry.”
“I’m sorry. I’m such a crier. I cry at Pixar movies.”
“But those are like really fucking sad sometimes.”
“Right?”
And now I’m crying. Shit. I’m obviously drunker than I thought I was.
Finn hugs me. “It’s okay, Hayden.”
“I know.”
“Are you sure you don’t want to stick it in for a minute?”
He leans back, his eyebrow raised, his look inviting.
I laugh. “You are such a horny fuck, you know that?”
He shrugs. “Can’t blame a guy for trying.”
I head out and take an Uber back to my condo. As soon as I get back, I throw my phone on the bed and stare at it.
It’s one thirty, and as I step into my bedroom, I see his comic book of Math Man on the nightstand. I grab it and rifle through the pages.
Here I am, the Math Man, taking on the world all by myself.
I look at the cover just so I can see Cody’s name.
That’s how much I miss him. That even just seeing his name makes me happy.
I could call Cody and chat with him, but that’s not going to help me. Not going to help either of us. I should be moving on.
We both should be moving on.
But thinking about calling him makes me tear up as much as Finn teared up over us.
Goddammit.
I finally pick it up and dial before pressing it against my ear.
“Hello?” Gary’s voice is like music to my ears.
“Hey there.”
“Here, one sec.”
He puts it on speaker as he says, “It’s Hayden.”
“Hey, boo.”
And it’s so nice hearing Derek’s voice too.
“God, I miss you guys so much.”
“Well, you need to find a reason to come down here and we can do another guys’ night.”
“You just missed Cody and Trav,” Gary says. “They’re hitting up Flirt now.”
And now I’m really disappointed. I know he’s going to go back with someone and fuck them, but I wish it was me.
God-fucking-dammit, I shouldn’t care as much as I do, but I can’t help it.
We chat a little bit more, catching up. They must be able to tell that I’m wasted because they keep giggling, but I don’t care. I miss those guys.
This isn’t the way this job was supposed to work out.
I finally collapse on the couch.
The next week, I’m busting my butt on the job again. I’m hoping if I throw myself into it that I can eventually shake off how homesick and Codysick I am, but it’s just not that easy.
Have I made the biggest mistake of my life? I was so fucking worried that I’d miss my big shot at this job.…Did I end up passing up the possibility of sharing something special and amazing with a guy that I was falling for?
I don’t even think I realized that’s what was happening. I knew I liked him a lot, but I obviously underestimated what I felt. And now, being without him leaves me wondering if the thing I’m really going to regret is passing up something that would make me a lot happier than this elusive idea of success that I’ve always been reaching for.
I’m at my desk, my phone by my computer when it vibrates.
Cody’s name pops up, and my heart races.
I’m excited. Thrilled.
Just the thought of hearing his voice excites me.
“Hey, man,” I say, answering quickly.
“Uh…hey.”
He sounds shaken. Rattled.
“What’s wrong?”
“I’m at the hospital right now. It’s Doc. He’s had a heart attack.”
“Holy shit.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t know who to call, and—”
“Well, I’m glad you called me. I’m going to head down.”
“What? No. I—”
“Cody, you’re not going to win this fight. I can take today and tomorrow off. This is an emergency. I’ll be on the next flight I can get to Atlanta, okay?”
He doesn’t resist my offer, and I’m glad.
“Thank you, Hayden,” he says.
“I’ve gotta get out of here, and I’ll see you in a bit.”
34
Cody
My hands won’t quit shaking. My leg bounces up and down to the beep of the machines hooked up to Doc. Travis went to get me some coffee. He hasn’t left my side since he found out, and as much as I appreciate him, he’s not who I need with me. He’s not filling this gaping wound in my chest because I’m so fucking scared right now, so goddamned out of my mind because I can’t lose Doc.
The door pushes open, and I don’t look up, just continue to keep my eyes angled down and watch my leg bounce.