Total pages in book: 235
Estimated words: 224334 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1122(@200wpm)___ 897(@250wpm)___ 748(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 224334 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1122(@200wpm)___ 897(@250wpm)___ 748(@300wpm)
“At the last count,” I say quietly. “I think Sarah said fifteen hundred-ish.” There were five hundred members when Carmichael died. “But they’re not all active at the moment. Some we don’t see from one month to the next, some of them meet people and start a relationship, and others take a break from the whole scene.”
“Is the restaurant and bar included?”
“No. The bar and restaurant are a separate entity. Some members eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner here four or five times a week. I wouldn’t be making much money if I included all meals and drinks in with their memberships. They have accounts they settle on a monthly basis.” I’m done talking about The Manor. But I know Ava is far from done. She wants more, but she’ll never admit it. “Turn around, I need to see you.” I help her to face me, and the moment I have her eyes, eyes that I’ve always found so expressive, so telling, I see it straightaway. Undisputed interest. “Would you like to see upstairs?” Or have I got this wrong? I don’t know. Not even her slight loss of breath tells me. So I wait, pensive and nervous, while Ava stares at me. She’s trying to decide—not if she wants to see it, I can see now quite clearly that she does. She’s deciding if she should admit it. She wants to know who I was when she walked into my office and my life. I could show her every square inch of this place and she still wouldn’t know who I was then. Not until I tell her. Who I am, where I’ve been, what I’ve seen.
What I’ve done.
“Okay,” she eventually says, so very quietly, as if ashamed to admit it. I can only nod, wondering if I’ve made another stupid error of judgment, like bringing her here this evening. This could go one of two ways.
I stand, feeling as apprehensive as Ava looks, and walk us out of the bar, up the stairs, and around the landing. I go slowly, making sure she’s got time to change her mind, all the while wondering if I should put a stop to this too. Yet I know if I do, it’ll only fuel Ava’s curiosity. It’ll only make her want to see it more.
I stop at the bottom of the stairs that lead to the communal room, looking down at her. “We need to get cracking on those next week,” I say, distracting her for a moment from the engraved wooden doors. “Ready?”
Am I ready?
Her mind is clearly going into overdrive. What will she see? What delights await her? I know she’ll find some of it filthy. That’s good. This place isn’t Ava, and that’s just one of the reasons I love her so much. I know she’ll be turned on by some of it. That’s human nature. But what I want her to see beyond everything is that I don’t want it anymore. I’m not talking gags, cuffs, blindfolds. I’m talking about promiscuousness.
Her. I just want her. I don’t want to share myself.
I step into her body, and she looks up at me. Wonder. It’s rife. “You’re curious.”
“Yes.”
“You don’t have to be so apprehensive. I’ll be with you, guiding you through. If you want to leave, say the word and you’re out of there.”
She nods, returning my squeeze when I tighten my hold of her hand, and I slowly start to walk us up the stairs. I can hear it already. The moans of pleasure, yells of passionate pain. I start to explain what she’ll see, preparing her. “It’s important for you to remember that everything transpiring is because all parties have agreed. Just by being in this room doesn’t necessarily show your desire to participate in any of the acts. Not that you ever will. I’m making it my mission objective to ensure that every man knows what the consequences will be if they approach you.” I smile, thoughtful. “I might send a memo.”
Her light laugh takes the edge off the intensity, and I’m really fucking grateful. She thinks I’m joking. I’m not.
I reach the doors, placing a hand on the wood, and take a deep breath. I’m about to show the love of my life a huge part of who I was before she found me, no holds barred. This is The Manor, and under the impeccable facade, it is sex personified.
The sounds become richer, louder, more passionate. I close my eyes and inhale, ready for it. This is one part of me I can give to her. This is a question I can answer. This is for her to get out of her system, and for me to reinforce that all of it means nothing to me. Never did, really, only escape. And now I don’t need to escape.