Total pages in book: 167
Estimated words: 157175 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 786(@200wpm)___ 629(@250wpm)___ 524(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 157175 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 786(@200wpm)___ 629(@250wpm)___ 524(@300wpm)
‘We’ll see.’
‘We will,’ I agree, prising her fingers from my jaw, maintaining my glare.
‘Are you done?’ Kate sighs, accepting the bottle of white when the waiter approaches, making quick work of pouring for Raya, and then Ava before I change my mind. She doesn’t miss my eye on the side of Ava’s glass, watching the level. ‘Though I have to say,’ Kate goes on, nodding at Ava to seize the goods before it’s swiped away by the madman sitting next to her, ‘it’s kind of nice to see you’re still you.’ Toasting us across the table, she sips her water.
‘So when’s the wedding?’ Ava asks Raya, pulling the table back to some light chit-chat. My glare hardens when she takes her glass and peeks at me on a hidden grin as she takes her first sip. She’ll pay for that.
I put myself into the conversation, but my attention is never far from Ava’s wine glass. It’s been weeks since she had a drink, and we need to be careful of any reaction with the meds she’s on. A few sips will be like a few bottles.
‘Excuse me,’ Ava announces as she stands. ‘I need the ladies.’
I sit up straight, contemplating escorting her as she leaves us. Is that a limp? Or is it a drunken wobble? I don’t know, and I need to be sure. Either way, she could do with my help. I make to stand.
‘Jesse,’ Kate calls across the table. ‘Leave her.’
‘But—’
‘Leave. Her.’ Her order is almost a warning. Like I’d ever take any notice. Except this time I do. I don’t know why, but I do. My eyes pass from the table to Ava’s back a few times as she gets further and further away from me. I’m so torn.
‘I’d listen,’ Sam says, pointing to his girlfriend’s pregnant belly with his beer. ‘Honestly, man. I’d listen.’
‘What if she stumbles?’ I say to Kate, a clear vivid flashback of her delicate head coming into my mind. There’s blood. Lots of blood. I wince.
‘She’s had one glass of wine. Now, sit.’
‘Come on, Jesse.’ Drew joins in the persuasion party. ‘Know your limits, mate.’
I drop to the chair with a thud. ‘I know fuck all any more,’ I admit, my head finding my hands. ‘I don’t know if she’ll ever remember me, the kids, our life. I know nothing, and it’s breaking my fucking heart.’ I will myself not to cry, try so fucking hard, but that one traitorous tear drops to the table, seeming to make a bang when it lands on the cloth. My strength is waning. I’m finally crumbling for everyone to see. Kate’s next to me in a heartbeat, followed quickly by Raya on the other side. Two women rushing to comfort the big baby.
‘Don’t let your frustration beat you,’ Raya tells me, nudging my shoulder playfully. ‘There’s no way she could forget what you two have. Not for ever.’
‘Are you being over the top?’ Kate pipes in, spiking light laughter from my supposed best mates. ‘Smothering her?’
‘No,’ I assure her. ‘Jesus, I’m sleeping in the spare bed. I even let her wear that fucking ridiculous dress. And now she’s drinking wine when I really don’t think she should be. So you can’t tell me I’m being too suffocating.’ I leave out the rampage I went on yesterday when she went missing. They don’t need to know that bit. I sniff and grab my water, so wishing I could swap it for something stronger. A lot stronger.
‘She’ll get there. Keep at it,’ Sam offers on a rare smile of support.
‘Yeah.’ I swallow down my frustration and straighten myself out. What the fuck has got into me? Blubbering like a baby in front of friends. ‘Here she is.’ I brush at my eyes quickly as Kate and Raya return to their chairs.
‘Don’t worry,’ Drew says. ‘We won’t tell her you’ve been crying.’
‘Fuck you,’ I spit. ‘I do believe you bawled once when you thought a certain blonde had fucked off to Australia and left your sadistic arse.’
Drew shrivels on the spot, and Raya chuckles. ‘How cute.’
I pull out Ava’s chair, and she graciously accepts, looking at me as she lowers. ‘Okay?’
I tug her closer, and she leans in, naturally coming until my lips are pressed to her cheek. ‘I’m sorry,’ I breathe across her skin. ‘I worry, that’s all.’
She pulls back and smiles softly, reaching for my cheek and caressing it lightly. ‘I have you with me, so I’ll be fine, right?’
Never have those words sounded so comforting. Whether she’s saying them because she’s learning fast once again that I need to hear them is a moot point. ‘Right,’ I confirm. ‘We need to make friends. Kiss me.’
She doesn’t question my order. And I know it’s instinct rather than her being wise or trying to pacify me. Her kiss is just a lingering peck, only light, but still. I’m swallowed whole, caught in the moment. Until a cough interrupts my bliss. Peeking across the table, I find everyone watching us. Waiting. Smiling.