Total pages in book: 150
Estimated words: 142818 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 714(@200wpm)___ 571(@250wpm)___ 476(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 142818 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 714(@200wpm)___ 571(@250wpm)___ 476(@300wpm)
He couldn’t be reading my thoughts, of course. But he saw me better than anyone else did, and I was struggling to hide the pain from my expression.
I held my breath, waiting for him to say something, address the tension between us, what was being left unsaid. But he didn’t say anything. His eyes just roved over my face as if he were committing it to memory.
“Drive safe,” he ordered. “You let me know the second you arrive back in Providence.”
I arched a brow. “Don’t pretend you don’t have someone tracking my phone.”
His brow did not quirk, and his mouth did not twitch. “Let me know anyway.”
I pursed my lips and fought against tears, nodding.
When I failed, Elden wiped away a tear that escaped.
He lifted his thumb and brought it to his mouth.
In the midst of all of this, my stomach fluttered with desire, seeing him taste my sadness. He’d tasted everything else.
Elden rested his forehead against mine.
I opened my mouth to say it. Say it all. But he knew it all.
So there was nothing to say.
He kissed me once more, gently, close mouthed before opening my door for me. I took one last look at him, my bearded, brooding biker in black, staring at me in a way that every woman would give their left tit for.
It took everything I had to drive away from him.
Chapter Fifteen
I did not see or speak to Elden until I came home for mid semester break.
He called.
I stared at the phone, at his name, with tears running down my face. Later, there were no tears, but there was a margarita in my hand.
Sariah was careful not to mention Elden. When I’d arrived home from the motel, she’d shrieked, “Welcome Home! Are you pregnant yet, you kinky bitch?”
I’d stared at her for ten seconds then burst into tears.
Sariah had reacted quickly, yelling at Henri to make the margaritas and for Ollie to whip up some cookie dough.
“And if anyone says shit about salmonella or whatever the fuck, I will cut them!” she screamed as she told Ollie not to put the cookies in the oven.
I didn’t tell her the specifics. Didn’t tell her that I took the coward’s way out by essentially ghosting him.
I was too ashamed to tell my brave, fearless friend that I couldn’t show the man I loved the respect of breaking up with him in person. Or even by phone.
Elden got the picture.
He’d called me. Still did. He didn’t leave messages. Didn’t text. Elden wasn’t really a text kind of guy. But he continued to call. Long after he understood what I was doing. Because he was showing me that he wasn’t going anywhere. He wasn’t giving up on us.
Like I had.
It made me sick. Physically sick not to hear his voice. Sick knowing I’d have to go back to Garnett and pretend. Not just pretend with everyone else, but with him.
But I couldn’t not go. I needed to see my brother. My family. I needed to see him. Even if it was from a distance. Even if we looked at each other like we were strangers.
So I went home.
And I stayed away from him. No matter how much it hurt me. And it did. No matter how often my resolve faltered.
He respected that distance.
For a time.
Maybe I was testing things. No, I knew I was testing things.
I pushed it to the edge one day, not long before I was set to go back to school.
Colby and I were coming back from the gun range. He had not spoken of Elden nor had I.
Colby invited me back to the clubhouse for a beer. I went, even though I knew the chances of seeing him were high.
I’d already seen him.
He came into the café. Every day. For coffee. We didn’t speak. We only stared at each other, our fingers brushing when I handed him his coffee. I lived for those handful of seconds. Those seconds were what kept me up at night. What made me feel alive.
Other than that, he didn’t push it. We kept our distance at any kind of club gatherings.
It was torture.
But he didn’t push it.
Until I went too far.
Sitting at the bar of his club, drinking a beer and laughing with another man. It didn’t matter that the other man was like a brother to me, and Elden knew that. Not when it had been so long. Not when you were talking about a possessive, alpha male.
Colby saw him first, his eyes widening as he took a sip of his beer before slamming it on the bar.
“I’ve got to go and … do a thing. Break the law or whatever,” he looked toward the hall then back at me before walking out.
I swiveled my stool around, but Elden caught the edges of it by the time it made half a rotation.