Total pages in book: 150
Estimated words: 142818 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 714(@200wpm)___ 571(@250wpm)___ 476(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 142818 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 714(@200wpm)___ 571(@250wpm)___ 476(@300wpm)
“We were going to go together, I had it all planned,” she continued, her voice soft but disappointment ringing in her tone.
I sank down to the floor of the hotel room I was staying in after driving ten hours straight.
“I know, Mom,” I said, trying to force my voice to sound even, normal. Whatever the fuck that was. “I just … needed the drive to clear me head.” It wasn’t a lie. Not entirely.
“I understand,” Mom said after a beat of silence. “I can’t imagine what these past few weeks have been like for you, and I’m so sorry—”
“No,” I interrupted, pain splintering my fingertips as I gripped my phone, cringing at the blame in my mother’s voice. “Don’t you dare apologize, Mom,” I stated firmly. “You have nothing to be sorry for. I’m so happy for you. There are no words for it.” A single tear ran down my cheek. I took a deep breath. “Your life is wonderful,” I whispered.
“Only because you’re my daughter,” Mom returned.
I smiled even though that wasn’t entirely true. Her life had been hell because I was her daughter, because she wanted me safe, wanted me to have a nice life. Her life was only wonderful because I’d left home, giving her the opportunity to escape my father.
My heart bled. “I’m sorry,” I murmured. “I didn’t want to hurt you or worry you.” I also knew there was no way I could pretend to be okay in front of my mother. She’d instantly see that something was wrong, and everything would come tumbling out. Swiss would definitely hurt Elden for breaking my heart like this.
And despite the cold, angry part of me that wanted Elden to hurt, I couldn’t do it. So I’d called Julian, told him a lie about my college housing, gone back to my mom’s house, thrown things into a suitcase and left in the car Mom had bought me the week before. Mom and Swiss hadn’t been there, some kind of sign that the universe was looking out for me.
“How about you change your flights to…” I trailed off, trying to figure out when I’d be whole enough to pretend I was okay in front of my mother.
It felt like I’d never be okay.
“A month from now?” I decided. “My schedule is still up in the air, but I know I don’t have class on Fridays, so we could make a long weekend of it?”
“A month?” my mother repeated in what could almost be described as a shriek. “Honey, Violet wants me to wait a month before we visit.”
“Baby, she probably just wants to party her ass off for the first month,” Swiss offered, and I almost smiled.
“That is not helpful,” Mom muttered.
“Just to let you know, you’re in deep shit for takin’ off like that,” Swiss grumbled, addressing me now.
My heart clenched again.
“I’m sorry,” I apologized again.
“We’re gonna be there in a month,” Swiss informed me. “To the hour. Prepare yourself, kid.”
“Don’t you dare do too much decorating before I get there,” my mother ordered. “And how are you going to put that bed frame and dresser together? They arrive in a couple of days. I’ll research those Task Bunny people, but how do we know they’re not serial killers or sex predators?” she fretted.
I did smile now. “Mom, I can put a bed and a dresser together.”
“I love the confidence you have in yourself, sweetie, and I do believe you can do anything you put your mind to, except putting together flat pack furniture,” my mother argued.
“Your faith in me is astounding,” I replied dryly.
“She can do it, baby,” Swiss said confidently.
My heart warmed. My father had never had that kind of confidence in me.
“And don’t you dare invite any man into your home that you don’t know,” Swiss addressed me once more. “You have any trouble, I’ll make some calls, get some of the Rhode Island chapter to come and do the heavy lifting.”
I hadn’t been aware that there was a Rhode Island chapter of the club. Then again, it was a national club, so it made sense. “Swiss, I cannot have a bunch of hot, muscled bikers doing the heavy lifting for me,” I scoffed. “That totally goes against everything I stand for. I’m a capable female.”
“Of course you are,” he agreed immediately.
My mind moved quickly, weighing up the pros and cons of his suggestion. Something wicked inside of me formed a plan. “Actually… I do have a lot of furniture, and there a lot of stairs. If you could call them, that would be great.”
“Good to see your principals are unwavering ,” Swiss teased.
I smiled wide. “Hey, a girl also has to recognize that fighting the patriarchy is making them do all the heavy lifting.”
“Amen, sista,” he replied.
Some of the ice around my heart began to melt.