Total pages in book: 136
Estimated words: 130673 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 653(@200wpm)___ 523(@250wpm)___ 436(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 130673 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 653(@200wpm)___ 523(@250wpm)___ 436(@300wpm)
I squeezed the pendant harder. No matter which direction my thoughts skidded to, I was met with a wall of anxiety.
Med school? Financial insecurity, long hours away from my daughter, the possibility of failure.
Rhyland? Heartbreak, insecurity, past trauma, crushing betrayal that was to come, because it always came. Other than Row, there had never been one man in my life who hadn’t disappointed me.
“Go nuts, Cosmos,” Rhyland urged in the background. “Ask for your wildest dream.”
I stretched my arm, letting the coin fall into the well. A soft clink sounded as it hit the still water.
“What did you ask for?”
You.
DYLAN
Bruce and Jolene smiled at us when we scurried into the house.
“Had a good time, lovebirds?”
“Yup.” Rhyland slung his arm over my shoulders.
As they both stood up to excuse themselves to their bedroom, Bruce’s gaze halted on Rhy’s neck, where the pendant used to be, and he nodded to himself in approval. He knew. And just like that, I wondered if Rhyland sacrificing his pendant for my dream had been about me or about him.
Asking outright would be foolish. I wasn’t supposed to care. Why couldn’t it be both?
I thanked the couple for taking care of Gravity and padded into my room to check on her through our shared door. She was fast asleep. I closed the door softly. When I turned around, Rhyland was standing in front of me, partially naked and completely hard.
“Oh.” I raised one eyebrow. “That’s fast.”
“Literally never heard that from a woman.”
I smiled, but the truth was I wasn’t in the mood. No matter how filthy and decadent our sexual encounters were, to me, they still meant something.
“What’s up?” He sauntered over to me in just his briefs, hugging my midsection.
I shook my head.
“You look troubled.”
“Nothing. It’s just…”
“Yes?” He lifted one brow expectantly.
I decided to just go for it. Miscommunication was such a dumb way to sour a relationship.
“Us? This?” I gestured between us with my finger. “It scares me.”
“Why does it scare you?” He looked genuinely puzzled.
“Because I’m breaking my rules for you.”
“I’m breaking my heart for you,” he said without missing a beat.
“What?” My mouth went dry, my heart pounding inside my chest. Had I heard him correctly?
He licked his lips, grabbing the back of his head and turning his back on me. “Look, maybe I’m saying this wrong, but trust me, this thing we have going? It’s not easy for me either. I’m playing fucking house with the hottest woman I know when I know I can’t give her everything she deserves. It’s doomed, and it’s fucking killing me, because in another life, in another scenario, we could’ve been really good together.” His throat rolled with a swallow. “We could’ve been the best thing that happened to me.”
“Why?” I tried to keep the desperation from my voice. “Why do you think you can’t give me what I need?”
“Because I don’t know how to love,” he answered simply. “And because the only example of love I’ve ever witnessed was toxic as hell and made me swear away from it.”
I wasn’t a girl who cried about boys. Never. Even when I found out Tucker had left me with a day-old baby, I’d shrugged it off and kept my head high. So it was curious that now I felt like crying.
Still, I nodded calmly, twisting in place and raising my hair. “Mind helping me with my zipper?”
His fingertips glided down my back as he helped me out of my dress. The shoulder straps fell to my waist, and I shimmied out of it. I wasn’t wearing a bra, but instead of cupping my breasts from behind, Rhy kissed my temple, his hands roaming over my stomach.
“I meant what I told Gravity.”
“You mean my vibrator is a fancy microphone?” I asked playfully. It was such an artful save. When she found it, I thought I was going to choke.
“Well, yes. That too,” he chuckled into my skin, making my whole body feel soft and warm and safe. “But also that you’re my favorite woman in the whole world, and I hope when we part ways, you’ll remember that.”
When we part ways.
“Mm-hmm.” I knew that if I spoke now, I’d cry.
He trailed kisses from my neck down to my shoulder. Then he turned me around, falling to his knees and grabbing the elastic of my undies from each side of my waist. He slid them down slowly, pausing when he saw the tiny C-section scar we’d talked about the other day. He pressed his mouth to it. Breathed it in. I shuddered, cupping his head and closing my eyes.
“You’re perfect.” He kissed it again. “One day, I’m going to see you with your new husband, sit across from you at a table in some event Row invites both of us to, and loathe my entire existence.”
Now it was my turn to slide down to my knees. I grabbed his face and kissed him, tasting my tears in that kiss, the saltiness of broken promises that were never made and the bitter disappointment of who we were. Two people who could never let go of the past. Who could never build a better future for themselves.