Total pages in book: 146
Estimated words: 138588 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 693(@200wpm)___ 554(@250wpm)___ 462(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 138588 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 693(@200wpm)___ 554(@250wpm)___ 462(@300wpm)
“Wait. So Sawyer didn’t beat the shit out of those guys?” Rye asked.
“Nope. Wyatt and Sabrina did all the damage,” Wright explained. “By the time Elisa and I got there, Sabrina was talking Wyatt down. Alexei’s got his hands full with that one. There’s some Hulk in there, if you know what I mean.”
Henry nodded as though taking it in and processing the story. “Women can often keep a cool head in the middle of a crisis, but Sawyer might be the one dealing with the ramifications of seeing the woman he…I’m going to stay away from that word…he is seeing because he has eyes and she’s often in the line of his vision…in danger.”
All right, he kind of liked Henry. But Henry was wrong. “Nah, I was annoyed at first because she’s shitty at following directions and apparently loves to throw herself into potential harm, but then she showed me her boobs and I didn’t care as much anymore. Y’all are acting like the sheriff left and we all sat around and talked. We didn’t. We had a ton of sex on the pool table, and then we went back to the cabin and fucked some more. I think we all feel better today.” He winced because he’d forgotten about Mel. “Sorry. I know she’s like your daughter now.”
Mel stared at him. “Did she enjoy herself?”
“Like five or six times,” Sawyer said with a nod.
“Then good for you.” Mel sat back. “As the father figure in her life, I have to ask if you are seeing her only because you have eyes and she’s around a lot.”
Damn. He was happier talking about the pool table. This was a weird metaphor. How to explain without saying too much or using the word he was avoiding even thinking about? “I…I often look around for her so I can see her. Because I have eyes.”
“It’s a metaphor,” Max whispered to his twin. “I think he’s talking about having a heart, but he’s Sawyer so he doesn’t want us to think he’s got one of those. So when he says he’s looking for her with his eyes, he’s really looking for her with his heart.”
Rye’s eyes rolled.
Max was an idiot.
“I’m just saying I don’t run away when she gets close.” Let that be the end.
“Like you did last Christmas?” Rafe asked.
“Look, last Christmas I took one look at her and thought she was sweet and fragile and I knew I couldn’t handle her. Or she couldn’t handle me,” Sawyer began.
“You were right the first time,” Henry said. “You were the one who couldn’t handle her.”
Sawyer would ignore the interruptions. He needed to get out of here. No. He was done lying to himself. He needed to make these men understand. Because if he was going to be with Sabrina, he couldn’t be the troll under the bridge anymore. She was a social person. She would want to have friends and go to parties and be part of the town and he would… Could he send Wyatt to all those things?
There were serious advantages to having a partner.
Of course if he wasn’t careful, he might not have a partner because his partner was going to be an idiot.
He needed to think this thing through. He couldn’t talk about it with Sabrina because he didn’t want her to worry.
It sucked to be alone.
Except he kind of wasn’t.
His grandfather had been a part of this town.
His grandfather had been broken when Sawyer’s mom died.
Would he have taken back all of the love so he never had to feel the grief?
Shit. Was this the question he’d been sitting with for fifteen years?
He was asking the wrong question. Everyone had to make the decision for themselves as to what they were willing to risk. Would he take back going after his brother? Even knowing his brother would end up being a selfish ass who never spoke to him again? Would he go back and tell Wes to fuck himself and leave him with the Horde?
He wouldn’t have met Wyatt, wouldn’t have been waiting to give Wyatt a safe place to land.
Would he have held back on loving his mom if he’d known she would die so suddenly?
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
“I have abandonment issues.” It made him vaguely ill to say the words.
Everyone froze, all eyes on him like he’d grown a second head.
“Is this what those sci-fi guys mean when they say they felt a disturbance in the force?” Max asked.
Like Max Harper knew anything about Star Wars. He wondered if Sabrina liked Star Wars. She looked more like a Trekkie. He could handle a Trekkie. She also looked like a woman who would like Disney movies.
But that was what Wyatt was there for.
It was odd how the world didn’t seem as dark as it had mere moments before.
“She didn’t abandon you, son,” Mel said quietly, putting an arm on Sawyer’s shoulder. “She died. Your brothers… I don’t think they handled things well, but they grieved, too. We can’t know what’s truly in someone’s heart, but I’ve found most people do things for selfish reasons and not malicious ones. Thoughtless, but not with cruel intent.”