Total pages in book: 93
Estimated words: 87067 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 435(@200wpm)___ 348(@250wpm)___ 290(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 87067 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 435(@200wpm)___ 348(@250wpm)___ 290(@300wpm)
“No, it’s not weird at all.”
“I keep thinking that…I wanna keep him, Noah.” JB released a low groan. “What the hell am I even thinking, man? I fucking sucked a straight man’s dick. I know better than this. Nothing. Fucking nothing good comes from this.”
“Don’t I know it,” Noah muttered in a low voice.
Which was another reason JB had called Noah. It wasn’t simply because Noah was one of his oldest and closest friends. It wasn’t because they’d survived hell together in the Army.
Noah had fallen for a straight man, and for a time, he’d lost him. And losing Rowe had nearly destroyed Noah.
“I’m not going to lie and say that you’re gonna get a happy ending because I did. The odds are against it. Rowe and I are more likely the exception to the rule,” Noah started, and JB managed a small smile. His friend was always practical. It had served them well in the military.
“Yeah, that’s what I figured. You got any advice, Dr. Freud?”
Surprisingly, Noah didn’t drop into his fake Austrian psychiatrist voice when he replied. “I don’t think all is lost. Cole hasn’t called demanding to leave. In fact, when he called about the kiss, he finished the call sounding more thoughtful. What happened after the kiss? Did he talk to you?”
JB snorted. “Oh, yeah. He came and told me that there would be no more kissing. I told him that I didn’t want to be some straight guy’s experimentation phase.” A bitter laugh tumbled from his lips. “Looks like we were both lying to ourselves.”
Noah sighed. “Sounds like you’re both figuring shit out. Did he freak out after the BJ?”
“No. We kissed and talked some. Took a shower together. Then I went back to work.”
“That sounds way better than after the kiss.”
“Yeah, but it’s been twenty-four hours since the BJ. Now everything is weird and awkward. Like we don’t know what to say to each other.”
“Cold and distant?”
“Nope. Just…awkward.”
“So, maybe he’s a little freaked out and confused. You can work with that.”
“How?” JB snapped.
Noah groaned loudly like JB was being the obstinate one. “Okay, forget for a second that he’s a straight boy.”
“What about the fact that he’s only here for a short time? That Rowe is gonna jerk him back to Cincinnati at any minute.”
“Yes, forget about that, too. Forget about him saying he’s straight. Forget about the ticking clock. If this was a guy you met and were becoming friends with, what would you do?”
“Seriously? It’s not that easy.”
“But it doesn’t have to be as hard as you’re making it, you idiot. What would you do?”
JB paused and stared at the herd. Their life seemed so much easier at that moment. Yeah, they were all destined for the slaughterhouse, but weren’t they all? They ate and fucked and relaxed in the sun.
And maybe that was what he kind of wanted with Cole.
“I don’t know. Probably ask him on a date. Spend some more time getting to know him outside of the bedroom. Enjoy hanging out with him.”
“Soooooo…” Noah drew out.
“That’s it? You want me to ask him out?”
“Yeah. I want you to ask him out. I want you to talk to him and say something along the lines of ‘You know my mouth is good for more than sucking dick. Do you wanna hang out and talk sometime?’ ”
“Fucking asshole!” JB shouted while laughing so hard some of the steers spooked and trotted farther away from him.
“Talk. To. Him,” Noah said firmly. “Tell him you wanna hang out. Get to know him. You’re not talking wedding bells. Just sort of dating and seeing where things go.”
“But what about Cincinnati?”
“There’s not much I can do about that. If things go well, then you’ll both have to deal with that question. But look at it this way, if they don’t, he leaves and you part on good terms. No harm, no foul.” Noah made a noise in the back of his throat. “Look, we’re still digging into stuff here. I can talk to Rowe. At the very least, I can buy you a week even if things move faster here. A week to hang out. No stress about him suddenly leaving.”
“Okay. Thanks. That helps,” JB agreed slowly. It wasn’t great, but if they could talk and hang out like normal people for a little while then he could figure out if what he was starting to feel for this guy was real, if there was any kind of future worth stressing about.
“I’m glad I could help.”
“Why do I feel like the whole ‘talk to him’ and ‘ask him on a date’ didn’t work so well with you and Rowe?”
Noah moaned loudly, and JB thought he heard the distant squeak of a chair. “Rowe was so messy and complicated. He was still dealing with the death of his wife, guilt over how things sort of ended with us, years of repressed feelings, jealousy, anger, and then way too much access to explosives. I’m surprised I didn’t spend more time drinking those first couple of months.” He moaned again and switched to a wise old sensei voice when he continued. “You can learn from my experiences, Young One, without making my same mistakes.”