Series: Fever Falls Series by Riley Hart
Total pages in book: 84
Estimated words: 81272 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 406(@200wpm)___ 325(@250wpm)___ 271(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 81272 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 406(@200wpm)___ 325(@250wpm)___ 271(@300wpm)
“Hell no. I just think it’s funny. It was a real physical reaction in your body.”
“Can’t help it. I love riding.” Which immediately made me think about my father, and that set my nerves on edge again.
Before I had the chance to dwell on it much, the physical therapist patted my good shoulder. “Well, you’re incredible out there, and you’re healing great. That’ll do it for today.”
I nodded and finagled my sling back on again as he left Dean and me alone.
“Do you feel any obligation to the LGBTQ community to do well, to do better than others because you’re the only out rider? Because you’re representing your community?” Dean asked.
I shrugged. “I feel an obligation to myself to do well and to be better than others. It’s important to me to work hard and succeed.”
“Yes, but you can feel that for more than just yourself, right?”
I stood there, thinking over what he said for a moment, when really, the answer was already there. “I do because I want them to be proud of me. I want…hell, I don’t know, for them to see my successes and know that they can do it, that they can have whatever the fuck they want. I don’t want anyone to feel held back by their sexuality or gender identity.”
“What about people who aren’t part of the LGBTQ community? Is there anything you want to prove to them?”
I leaned against one of the pillars in the workout room, thinking about it. “I remember when I told my parents I was gay. My mom accepted it right away. She hugged me, said she loved me, and then asked when I was going to get my hair cut, because it had grown a little shaggy. It didn’t matter at all. I was still the same Rush. My father had gotten quiet, this sort of faraway look in his eyes.
“Mom left us alone, and he looked down, rubbed his forehead, and Christ, my chest had felt like it had been sliced open, my heart pulled out. It hadn’t ever occurred to me that they wouldn’t accept me. I was lucky that way.”
My eyes darted toward Dean’s, which were rapt on me. He nodded for me to continue.
“Finally, my dad said, ‘You know I love you. I’ll always love and accept you, but…what about your career? People will use it against you. They’ll use it as an excuse for everything. They’ll think…’ He didn’t finish his sentence because he didn’t need to. I knew what he meant. Sports are a tough arena for anyone LGBTQ. Some people consider it a weakness or think we don’t belong. Others will think they’re filling some diversity slots with me.
“It’s screwed up that the world works that way, but it does. Those are things you don’t have to worry about if you’re straight. I’m a gay man and proud, but my sexuality doesn’t define me. Being gay is part of who I am, but it’s not the only part. It doesn’t affect how I ride or if I win. But I’d be lying if I didn’t admit there’s a part of me that wants to show the haters, or the people who think my sexuality is a liability, that a gay man can excel in sports, just like anyone else.”
Dean nodded. Turned off his recorder and scribbled some notes.
“I feel like you tricked me to share a bit too much there,” I teased.
“Me? No! I would never.” Dean winked and stood. “Just remember you have final say. We’ll take out whatever you don’t want in the piece.”
I nodded, but the truth was, I didn’t think I wanted any of it removed from the interview. I was proud of what I’d said.
We were in the car on the way home when my cell phone rang. When I looked down, it said Dad on the screen.
Again, I didn’t answer.
“Are you sure it’s okay if I go to this birthday party with you? I don’t even know any of these people,” Jude asked as he paced the living room. “Maybe I should just stay home. Mama K and I can binge-watch movies and eat popcorn or something.”
“You’re going!” Mom yelled from the kitchen, and I laughed.
“See? Mom has spoken.” If Jude was going to stay in Fever Falls, he needed to get out of the house with someone other than my mom and me. He needed to meet people. If he was struggling, I wanted to support him in the best way I could and not just leave him to keep himself locked away at the house.
“Traitor!” Jude yelled back at her, and this time, it was Mom who laughed.
“Maybe you’ll meet a nice girl.” Mom was drying her hands on a kitchen towel as she walked into the room.
“I’ve had plenty of nice girls,” Jude replied, and Mom pretended to plug her ears.