Total pages in book: 147
Estimated words: 140742 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 704(@200wpm)___ 563(@250wpm)___ 469(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 140742 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 704(@200wpm)___ 563(@250wpm)___ 469(@300wpm)
“You know what I told her?” he asks.
“What?” I ask with a bite in my tone that seems to amuse him.
“I told her I have a girlfriend.”
I stop breathing. I open and shut my mouth a couple of times and I think I make a sound, but words fail me.
“After the incident, when that woman snuck into my apartment, I stopped taking women home. Most of the time, I go to a hotel. It makes things easier anyway. Either I leave or they leave at the end of the night. There’s never that sleeping over and cuddling bullshit. Some have begged—”
“Can you get to the point? I really don’t want to hear about you fucking other women.”
He looks at me for a moment, before his lips tilt into a devilish smile. I roll my eyes and cross my arms, which apparently amuses him even more.
“The other night when you left, I felt…” He frowns, as if looking for the right word.
“How did you feel?” I ask, when I feel like he’s taking too long.
“Empty.”
My heart dips. “You can’t say things like that, Finn.”
“I don’t know how else to do this, Josslyn.” He runs his hand through his hair and exhales as he paces the small space. “I don’t know how to play this game. I don’t know what to say or not say.”
“It’s not a game! Just say what you feel.”
He stops pacing and walks over to me, his thighs brushing against my knees. The way he’s looking at me … I think I might die.
“I want you.” He runs the back of his hand along my cheek. “I want to be with you. I want more than just sex.”
I inhale sharply. I’m not sure what I was expecting. I thought he’d say he has feelings for me or apologize again or something, but…
“That sounds like a relationship,” I manage to say, pulse throbbing in my ears.
“What if that’s what I want?”
For a moment, I just stare at him. “You want a relationship?”
“With you, yes.”
“And you figured this out because you heard I was at Pearl and you thought I was hooking up with someone else?”
“I think I figured it out when I was sitting across from you at the barbecue,” he says but sounds unsure.
“You mean when you were jealous of Tiago?” I ask. “It sounds like what you want is to possess me.”
“No. It’s not like that,” he says, scowling.
“Then tell me what it’s like. Tell me what you want.”
“Maybe that’s what it took for me to finally snap out of it, but I want you,” he says. “I want the Josslyn people don’t get to see. The one who gets mad and cries and laughs with abandon. The one who makes my heart beat so fast I can hardly stand it.” He holds my hand in his and brings it up to his chest as if to show me. “I want all of you.”
Somehow, I force myself to breathe. “That’s a big ask, Finneas.”
“I know.” He moves closer so he’s standing between my legs, still holding my hands on my thighs. “I want to take you to dinner and watch stupid movies with you. I don’t care what we do. I just want to be with you.”
My heart skips a few beats. I want that. I want it so badly, but I don’t know…
“People pay attention to my whereabouts. They’ll take pictures, they’ll talk, they’ll speculate,” I say. “That picture of us at the fundraiser was literally examined and talked about by a person who reads body language.”
His brows shoot up. “That’s … interesting.”
“My point is, you’ll give up a lot of your privacy, and if you…” I swallow hard and look down, focusing on our linked hands. “If you cheat on me or something—”
“Are you fucking kidding me right now?” He lets go of one of my hands and lifts my face with it, eyes blazing. “I would never do that to you. Never.”
“You don’t know—”
“I do know. Do you think I’m some fucking kid who needs to fuck all the time? Or that I accept every proposition I get?” he asks, his eyes hard. “That’s not me. I’ve been hyperfocused on my career and haven’t had a serious relationship, so maybe I’ll fuck up, but never like that.”
I know I can’t blame the entire male population for one cheating bastard, but it’s easier said than done. Especially when it comes to Finn. He’s every hetero woman’s fantasy.
“What you went through was shitty, but I’m asking you to trust me.” He sighs, grabs my face, and touches his forehead to mine. “You’re my fucking fantasy, my dream girl. Do you really think I’d be stupid enough to hurt you like that?”
“Oh my God,” I whisper. “I’m going to have a heart attack if you keep saying things like that.”