Total pages in book: 147
Estimated words: 140742 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 704(@200wpm)___ 563(@250wpm)___ 469(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 140742 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 704(@200wpm)___ 563(@250wpm)___ 469(@300wpm)
“I like connecting with people and the brands pay me for these posts.” I look at him again. “Do you get tired of it?”
He chuckles. “I don’t connect with anyone. No one who follows me checks on whether or not they miss one of my posts.”
I highly doubt that’s true, but I don’t say that. “That’s because you only post professional pictures taken at games.”
His eyes sparkle. “Stalking me, Josslyn?”
“No.” I laugh quietly and look away again, hoping to hide the warmth on my cheeks.
Thankfully, the elevator doors open on my floor and I’m able to walk out before he sees my embarrassment. I’m almost at my door when he reaches out and takes my hand, sending my heart galloping. I figured he’d walk me to my door when we got here, but I don’t know what to expect now that we’re here. He has a serious expression when I turn to him, but there’s something in his eyes that doesn’t help the state of my heart or the strange, dumb hope that blooms inside me.
“You were the most beautiful woman in the room tonight,” he says, voice low as he steps forward, backing me against my door.
“Thank you,” I breathe.
“It took every ounce of willpower I have not to do this.” He cups my face and tilts it with his free hand, bringing his mouth against mine.
It’s a soft kiss. One that he deepens quickly, sweeping his tongue into my mouth as he pushes up against me. I instantly feel like I’m on fire. I let go of his hand and tug his jacket to bring him closer. There’s no room left between us, but it still doesn’t seem like it’s close enough. I’ve wanted men before, but I’ve never wanted anyone as much as I want him. When he breaks the kiss, just as slowly and softly as he started, he sets his forehead against mine and lets out a harsh breath.
“One more night?” I ask quietly. Hopefully. Stupidly.
I should be terrified of even wanting that. The things I feel for him—that I’ve always felt when he’s around—are terrifying. Despite everything, it would be so damn easy for me to fall for him. But one more night won’t hurt. And I want him so badly. I want the scary, all-encompassing feeling he gives me. He nods, then pulls away and takes a step back, letting me open the door to my apartment. Once inside, I expect to end up with my back against the door, fumbling with his belt, but Finn takes a step inside and looks around, the way he did in my childhood bedroom.
I sit on the barstool and start unstrapping my heels, as he lifts one of the picture frames I have on my entrance table and looks at it. It’s me and my dad at one of his games when I was around four years old. I have a lot of pictures with him around my place, and most are basketball-related. When Mom gave them to me as a housewarming gift and placed them all around my apartment, I thought I’d look at them all the time, but I rarely do. It’s hard to see him smiling wide in all those pictures, knowing that he wasn’t happy. I went to therapy long enough to understand that it had nothing to do with me, but it didn’t make it any easier to understand.
I clear my throat. “He hung himself.”
Finn’s head whips toward me, a mix of sympathy and disbelief in his eyes. He sets down the frame but doesn’t walk closer to me, which I appreciate. With the way he’s looking at me, if he touches me right now, I know I’ll cry. I always do. “Shit, Joss. I knew he’d ... but I didn’t realize...”
“It’s not something many people know. Titus was able to keep the sordid details out of the press and leave everything so vague.”
He walks over to me now, gripping the armrests on either side of me, and leans in to kiss my forehead. It’s a small gesture, a sweet one, and it makes my eyes sting with tears. I bring a hand up and dab the edges to keep them in. When I lower my hand again, Finn wraps both arms around me as best he can, and holds my face against his chest. I wrap my arms around him and take a deep inhale, relishing the way he smells. It’s manly, fresh, and comforting. The latter so unlike what I thought he was.
But maybe that was my mistake. It’s not like he’s a loner. He has a friend group that he cares for. And though I’m sure he’s not hugging Will or Lucas like this, he might be showing Ella this type of care. The thought makes my blood simmer. It’s a ridiculous reaction, considering most of the people Ella dates are women, but it makes me realize how much I want this from him. How much I want everything from him. I squeeze my eyes shut in hopes of getting rid of that thought. I have him for now. I need to settle for that.