Total pages in book: 24
Estimated words: 22667 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 113(@200wpm)___ 91(@250wpm)___ 76(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 22667 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 113(@200wpm)___ 91(@250wpm)___ 76(@300wpm)
“We are,” Drew says, clearly beside himself with happiness. “And Tatum’s been craving scrambles the entire pregnancy. If I go to The Fat Rooster without at least offering her the chance to join, she’ll have my head on a platter.”
“Oh, congratulations. That’s amazing news,” I say, my chest starting to ache. “Yes, please invite her. I’d love to meet her and your daughter.”
“And my fiancée, Starling,” Christian pipes up from outside. “Well, she’ll be my fiancée soon. I’m asking her on Christmas Eve and if she doesn’t say yes, I’m going to ask her every Friday night until she finally gets sick of my begging and puts me out of my misery.”
Drew rolls his eyes and whispers, “She’s going to say yes. For some reason she’s crazy about that cocky bastard.”
“I heard that,” Christian says. “In addition to being a cocky bastard, I have excellent hearing. Now hurry up and come downstairs with me. The sooner they’re dressed, the sooner we can get out of here. That squirrel in the downed tree is giving me the creeps.”
“Oh no,” I say, covering Pippa Jane’s ears before adding to Drew, “Please try to get rid of the s-q-u-i-r-r-e-l before we come downstairs. Pippa’s terrified of them. If she sees it, she’ll run and hide, and we’ll never get her into your boat.”
Drew nods seriously. “Will do.”
He disappears, closing the door behind him. The second it snicks shut, I’m out of bed digging through one of my uncle’s drawers for something to wear. My other clean things are all in my backpack downstairs.
“Everything okay?” Theo asks, making a more orderly exit from bed.
Pippa Jane isn’t happy to see us go. She oinks in indignation, clearly irritated that the morning petting session has ended so soon.
“You’ll get more belly rubs later, baby,” I tell her, grabbing a grungy blue “Bass Fishers Do It Better” sweatshirt and quickly swapping it for my flannel pajama top. I keep my back to Theo as I change, not wanting to be naked in front of him right now, not when I have this weird…icky feeling squirming around inside me. “And yeah,” I add, forcing a smile as I turn back to him. “Just ready to get out of here. I didn’t realize how claustrophobic I was getting until rescue was on the horizon.”
“I hear that,” Theo says, pulling his flannel pajama pants on over the boxer briefs he slept in along with my old sweatshirt. “I’ll run downstairs and see if my jeans are dry yet.”
“Or you can wear your PJ pants,” I say. “I was going to leave mine on. I figure, as long as we have real clothes on top and shoes on bottom, we should be fine.”
“Sounds like a plan.” Theo’s lips curve, but the smile doesn’t reach his eyes. “You sure you’re okay?”
“I’m fine,” I lie.
I’m not fine, but the thing I’m not fine about isn’t something Theo can fix, and I wouldn’t want him to try. His big, loving, “always there for each other” family is something he should treasure.
And something he shouldn’t be forced to leave behind.
I don’t know why I didn’t think more about this before. I guess a part of me assumed that with his grandma gone, Theo wouldn’t have as much tying him to Bad Dog. But he’s clearly grown even closer to his cousins than when we were in high school. It makes sense, really. I’m sure, once Gram died, the McGuires all rallied around Theo to make sure he felt loved and included. They’re a wonderful family that way.
Too wonderful to give up for a woman who may never put down roots and isn’t sure if she wants to have a family of her own. On the one hand, there are times when having a little one to share life’s adventures with sounds amazing. But there are just as many times when caring for Pippa Jane takes everything I’ve got, and I can’t imagine having a creature to take care of who can’t be sent to time-out in her crate or pick up her own toys.
I can’t promise I can give Theo children, and it’s not like he’s going to be getting any love and support from the people I’m related to. If he comes with me, he’ll be leaving dozens of loving people and a home he adores behind in exchange for…me.
Just me.
Well, and Pippa, who seems to adore Theo already—she’s currently letting him hold her like a baby as they start down the stairs, a gesture of trust that heals and breaks my heart, all at the same time—but a girl and her pig can only do so much, can only be so much.
As I follow Theo down, praising Pippa Jane for being such a good girl as we descend the spiral staircase, I try not to spiral myself, but it’s next to impossible. In the hard light of day, the destruction left behind by the flood looks even more brutal and my future doesn’t seem nearly as bright. No matter how much I want to whisk Theo away, sweeping him up in my nomad life, I truly love him. I love him enough to want the best for him, no matter what that is, even if it isn’t me.