Total pages in book: 247
Estimated words: 242728 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1214(@200wpm)___ 971(@250wpm)___ 809(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 242728 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1214(@200wpm)___ 971(@250wpm)___ 809(@300wpm)
Smoke stung my eyes as the flames in the stone-ringed fireplace burned hotter and hungrier than I’d ever seen. Something blazed in the centre, sending up black swathes of rancid clouds.
“Not here. Not now.” I gritted my teeth. I didn’t trust myself not to ignore yet another warning keeping me away from her.
It could all be lies.
It could all be nothing more than some maddening hallucination feeding off my fears about my own killing power.
I shuddered.
I flushed with icy sweat.
“Darro, we have to—”
“I need more time,” I snapped, catching her gaze. My heart fisted as she dropped her head with a flinch.
I wanted to gather her in another embrace, summon my shadows, and take her into the sky where nothing and no one could reach us, but I didn’t reach for her.
My head pounded with nightmares as I kept my voice cool and clipped, swallowing back my misery. “I meant every word I said, Runa. I’m not going anywhere. I will always be near, and I’ll always look out for you. I’ll never stop looking for a way to free you from the blood bind, but...” I choked and couldn’t continue.
She went deathly still. “But...?”
Bracing every muscle, I glowered at the fire and its acrid black smoke. “Until I know what happened to me last night and I trust that I’m not a danger to you, I think...” I dared meet her tear-swimming gaze. “I think it’s best if we...keep our distance.”
“What?” Her eyebrows shot upward. “You’re going to obey the commands now? After everything—”
“Don’t you think we should?” I growled. “Isn’t it time we stop being selfish and—”
“Selfish?” She sniffed. “Is it selfish that I want out of this forced mating? Is it selfish that I want you because I love you in return? I want what you promised. I want a life—”
“So do I.” I turned to face her, my heart suffocating. “I want a life, Runa. Your life.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means I’m a threat to that life. I-I’m not who I thought I was, and each time I remember something, I become more and more afraid of what I’m capable of.”
She grabbed my hand, wincing a little with her ash-covered palms. “You would never hurt me.”
“I already have,” I whispered.
“Out of loyalty to me. You did nothing wrong.”
“And if I kill you out of love...will you still say I did nothing wrong?”
“You know what I mean.”
“I know that I don’t trust myself around you. Not anymore.”
Her eyes glimmered. “But I love you...”
I hunched as fresh despair burned through me.
It hurt to breathe as I pulled my hand from hers.
Anger tinted her eyes. “What’s happened to you between now and the river?”
“I told you. I did something last night that makes me fear—”
“Last night, you protected me, Darro.” Her voice wavered with emotion. “Don’t pull away from me after fighting so hard to remind me. You say you’re starting to remember? Well, so am I. I remembered that you’ve loved me since...” Her eyes cast away as her voice lowered. “I want to say the beginning of time because that’s what it felt like. I saw a barren world where nothing grew. There was nothing but us. Just us. And you loved me so fiercely—”
“And each time we touched, we were torn apart,” I snapped, recalling the way the sky would churn and lightning crackled with warning.
“We didn’t let that stop us then, so we shouldn’t let it stop us now.”
“How do you know we didn’t let it stop us?” I dropped my chin with a heavy sigh. “We forgot each other, Runa. We went from being together, to being all alone. How? Why? What happened to break us apart, and who did it?” My voice darkened. “I’m beginning to wonder if the elements are right.”
“Right about what?” she asked, her voice thick with so many things.
Every part of me screamed not to do this.
That everything about this conversation was wrong.
That the very idea of pausing our connection would be worse than death, but...it seemed I was death. And if the elements were right about that, then...one day, I could be the cause of hers, and I wouldn’t survive that.
“Right that it was us who commanded them to keep us apart.” I swallowed daggers in my throat. “I think we did it because it was the only way we could—”
“No.” Runa crossed her arms, shielding herself. “I don’t believe it. I won’t.” Her arms spread wide a moment later, reaching for me. “We’re the same, Darro.”
I parried out of her reach with a tattered groan.
If she touched me, I wouldn’t have the strength to do this. “No, Runa. We’re opposites. We’ve always known that, and now I’m beginning to understand what that means.”
“It means we need each other!”
“It means we can’t survive each other,” I murmured, quiet to her shout. “I’m not leaving, so don’t be afraid of that. I gave you my word that I will always protect you, guard you. Aktor will never hurt you again. I will do whatever it takes to ensure you remain happy and safe and loved...but—” Gritting my teeth, I stepped into her and touched her cheek.