Total pages in book: 92
Estimated words: 86556 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 433(@200wpm)___ 346(@250wpm)___ 289(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 86556 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 433(@200wpm)___ 346(@250wpm)___ 289(@300wpm)
“God, we’re a pair,” Dustin groaned. His body tensed, like he’d just remembered how impossibly fucked-up this all was. Wes didn’t let him pull away, moving his hand up to hold Dustin in place. Just a few more moments. Just let me pretend another minute.
“Oh man, we totally forgot about the movie.” Wes forced himself to laugh, to act like the sex was no more than a pleasant interlude instead of world-fucking-shattering.
“Yeah, we did.” Dustin reached for the remote, stopped the TV. “I can restart it. But...” Dustin’s sigh was heavier than wet sandbags and loaded with meaning.
“I can’t stay. I get it.” Forcing his reluctant muscles to work, Wes made himself sit up. “No sleepovers. And I should probably get back anyway. But thank you.”
“I wish you could stay.” God, the sadness in Dustin’s voice just about killed Wes. “You shouldn’t have to be alone tonight.”
“I wasn’t.” Wes gave him a soft kiss. “And thank you for that.”
“Wes...” It was all there in Dustin’s voice, how much he wished things could be different, and it made Wes’s eyes sting.
“No regrets, right?” He ghosted a kiss across Dustin’s mouth before standing, handing Dustin his sweatpants.
“None.” Dustin was lying, and Wes could tell by the tightness around his eyes, but he wasn’t going to call him on it, not when he was lying himself too. “Message me when you’re back on base?”
“Don’t worry. I’m not about to go AWOL. Talking to you helped.”
“I’m glad.” Sweatpants back on, Dustin followed Wes to the door. “Fuck. I hate this.”
“Me too.” Wes gave him a final kiss, one almost bruising in its intensity. This is probably the last. He tried to memorize Dustin’s taste, the way he clung to Wes, the way he always let Wes lead. Coming here had been a mistake, had only made it that much clearer what they were both missing. Fuck. Why did it have to be Dustin who made him feel this way? He’d said no regrets, but as he let himself out of Dustin’s condo into the cool night air, longing wrapped around him, a heavy cloak woven of regrets and what-might-have-been.
Chapter Twelve
As Dustin worked through his email in-box on his computer in the team’s office area, guilt had him glancing around far more than usual. He wasn’t sure which he felt guiltier about—inviting Wes over, the sex, or the late-night messaging after Wes had gotten back to base. Maybe that last one because what was supposed to be a fast message that Wes was home safe had turned into long, sleepy conversation about the movie Wes had missed. It was like both of them were reluctant to end the talking, to admit the whole night had been a mistake. Messaging had been a way to keep the regrets he’d promised he wouldn’t have from smothering him.
“Lieutenant. You got a minute?” The senior chief came up to Dustin’s desk area, which was right outside the LT’s office.
“For you? I’ve got at least ten.” Dustin forced himself to smile, but he really did like his senior chief, who treated all the enlisted men under him with great respect and who ran a fair, clean operation. Gray-haired and taller than the LT, the senior chief carried himself with authority, even when leaning against Dustin’s desk. “What’s up?”
“I’m looking at our schedule. Seems to me, after this afternoon’s debriefing schedule, we’ve got at least three days downtime.”
“Yeah. We’ll probably be quiet into next week before we gear back up. Week after next we’ve got a jump training if they don’t deploy us again before that.”
“What do you say I lean on the LT about some of those leave requests we had before the last mission? See if we can’t get Lowe in particular some days to go back home. Word I’ve heard is that his family situation’s continuing with his sister’s health not looking so good.”
Dustin had to make himself nod like he was just hearing about Wes’s sister for the first time and not like he had intimate knowledge from the other night. “That’s a shame.” He chose his next words carefully. “I trust your judgment. If you think he needs the leave, you talk to the LT. You have my full support though.”
“I do. And my wife works for a travel firm. If the LT will grant the request, I can probably get him on a flight back east after the briefing, make it easier on him than waiting around on a transport.”
Dustin nodded, again being very deliberate with his word choice. He could not be seen trying to cash in a favor of any sort here or showing favoritism. Fuck. This fine line business sucked. “Your wife’s a good woman. I’ll let you handle this. And Donaldson wanted some leave too, right? I support your judgment call on these things.”