Total pages in book: 115
Estimated words: 106797 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 534(@200wpm)___ 427(@250wpm)___ 356(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 106797 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 534(@200wpm)___ 427(@250wpm)___ 356(@300wpm)
I wasn’t sure how far we ran, but we were out for at least an hour before we made our way back to his place. Neither of us said a word as we took turns showering, and I knew he really was what I needed most in that moment. I already felt better about Willow, the run helping my thoughts settle, and Rhodes didn’t ask me to talk about it if I didn’t want to.
Still, after our showers, I sat on one of his kitchen bar stools with my hair in a wet, messy bun and watched as he pre-heated the oven, finally feeling like maybe I did want to talk. Even if just a little bit.
I waited as Rhodes began pulling ingredients and cooking utensils out onto the counter, wondering if maybe he’d ask me to talk about it, but he never did. That was part of his allure, which I knew, so the ball was in my court if I wanted to talk. For a while, I just watched him cook in silence. Every now and then he would glance up at me, but then his focus was drawn right back into the meal. He seemed to be working through something, too. Even while we were running, I could feel some kind of emotion steaming out of him, too.
“She’s my best friend,” I started as he cut a mango. “It’s always been me and her. We had our group of friends and everyone loved Willow, but at the end of the day, it was always us. We were supposed to go to college together. We want to have houses right next to each other. That was always the plan. Get married, have kids…” I trailed off. “I sound so stupid, don’t I?”
Rhodes shrugged. “You’re going to miss her. There’s nothing stupid about that.”
“But I wouldn’t have to miss her if I were going with her.”
“So why don’t you?”
I sighed. “I don’t want to do what everyone else in this town does. Go to Appalachian State, travel for a while, and then end up right back here. It’s like the cycle of life around here.”
“Yeah,” Rhodes said sarcastically, the knife in his hand clacking against the cutting board. “Sounds awful.”
“Oh like you want to be here any more than I do.”
“Some of us don’t have a choice.” He met me with hard eyes. Dumping the mango into a bowl along with diced tomatoes, he continued. “Besides, Appalachian isn’t the only college out there. What’s stopping you from going somewhere else?”
“My family.”
He mixed in a few spices, but didn’t look at me when he responded. “It’s not your family’s life you’re living. It’s yours.”
I chewed on that, falling silent. He had a point. I wasn’t sure exactly what it was that was holding me back from making decisions about my future. Part of me did want to go to Appalachian State University. They had a great photography program and Willow would be there. But then again, so would Mason. I could go somewhere else, like an elite art school where I’d really learn more about photography, but Dale would fight me on it and that wasn’t a battle I wanted to tackle. I was surprised he was even letting me slide with the I’m taking time off excuse for not applying to Appalachian State right after SATs. Maybe it wasn’t even about college. Maybe it was about the way I felt about myself, the feeling I was trying to change by training with Rhodes.
I was lost. I was frustrated. And though I knew in my head that I had the power to change it, I still felt so helpless.
I sighed, sipping on the water Rhodes had poured me. I had no right to be upset about Willow leaving. I could miss her, but I couldn’t feel much else than that. She was following her dreams and I couldn’t fault her for that just because I didn’t have my own.
Watching Rhodes work, I wondered who the woman was earlier and what they had done. It was stupid to wonder, really, because the implication was pretty clear — but I couldn’t figure out why he did what he did. He was young, attractive, smart — he could have any girl he wanted. Why was it the stuck-up house moms who got to live between his sheets? Was it the only way he could keep his job? Why didn’t he just work somewhere else, if that was the case?
I traced the lip of my glass with my fingertip, eyes skating with it. “You know you can file sexual harassment against those club members. They can’t make you do the extra… training.”
Rhodes scoffed. “Don’t be naïve.”
“Do you choose to do it, then?”
“Yes,” he snapped. “I choose to. And stop skirting around the word. I fuck them, Natalie. Hard. Long. And until they scream like they used to when they were in their twenties.”