Total pages in book: 129
Estimated words: 121764 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 609(@200wpm)___ 487(@250wpm)___ 406(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 121764 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 609(@200wpm)___ 487(@250wpm)___ 406(@300wpm)
But as the wise old they had predicted — something in me had changed.
It wasn’t that I still didn’t opt for the bright side, because I did. When I longed for Jaxson, I reminded myself how amazing it was to have the time we did have together. I listed off every experience I was thankful for with him.
But something he’d shown me was that it was okay to sit in our sadness every now and then, to feel the pain that life shells out to us.
That pain is what makes us human.
That pain is what makes us appreciate the overwhelming joy when we’re blessed with it.
The old me never cried. I would have sooner sawed my arm off with a rusty pair of scissors. But the new me cried almost every day — and liked it. God, it was wild, how something I used to fight so hard was something I welcomed like an old friend coming home now. But I did. I embraced that tight zing in my chest. I smiled when the first tears rolled down my cheeks.
Because for the first time in my life, I had someone to miss.
Every night, when I closed my eyes, I replayed the way he’d sprinted back to me in that airport. I watched his brows bend in anguish, heard his voice when he broke and confessed that he loved me, felt his hands clinging to me so hard it was like he would fade into nothing without feeling my skin against his.
It was my favorite memory — even when it ripped the scab off any attempt my heart had made to heal itself.
He loved me. And I loved him.
If only it were like a movie where that was enough.
I swore to myself that I would leave him alone. I swore I would let him move on and heal, and that I would pay myself the same respect.
But on my second day in New Hampshire, I woke to a text from my mom that broke my resolve like a dam made of toothpicks.
Mom: Hey, little globetrotter. We’re heading to Tampa for the first home game. Meet you there?
And Yet...
Jaxson
“TIME TO HIT BOOMERS, BABY!”
Carter slid across the locker room floor Tom Cruise style, wiggling his hips in a way that made me laugh and cringe at the same time. Vince wound up a towel into a tight spiral before snapping it on Carter’s ass.
“Why, so you can sweat any time a bunny tries to dance with you and then go home alone like always?” Vince ducked out of the way when Carter tried to hook him with a punch to the arm after that remark.
“You know what, Tanny Boy? Not even you can get me down. Because we just won our first game of the season, and I,” he said, pointing a thumb to his chest. “Was a star of the game.”
There was a scoff from the other end of the bench, and we all turned to find Aleks Suter shaking his head as he took off his jersey and pads.
He looked like he belonged in prison more than a professional hockey league locker room. His hair was buzz cut short to his head, his lip in a permanent snarl, and he had the body build of someone who fought for a living. He was scrappy and terrifying as hell.
He was also really pissing me off.
The man was new to this team. I didn’t give a rat’s ass if he was bigger and badder than Carter — he hadn’t been on this team as long. And he needed to show some fucking respect before I made him show it.
“Got something to say, Su Man?” I asked, trying to keep my voice level.
Suter hit me with his signature death glare, and then shrugged, stepping right up to Carter’s chest. “Enjoy your star, kid. Because if what you brought tonight was the best you have, you’ll be sent down within the month.”
I jumped up off the bench, ready to make Aleks shut his mouth since he apparently needed help in that department. But Vince landed a palm hard to my chest to stop me.
I didn’t miss how Carter’s face fell a little. And truth be told, Aleks had a point. Carter had a decent game, but we opened with our easiest opponents. He was good on the ice, but if he wanted to stay in the NHL, he needed to be great. He needed to be unbelievable. He needed to up his game.
Still, it wasn’t the fucking new kid’s place to tell him that — not when he hadn’t even been here three months.
“Guess that means you’re not joining us, huh, Suter?” Carter asked, bouncing back just like he always did. Nothing kept him down for long.
Aleks grunted, and Carter chuckled, pointing to Will next. “What about you, Daddy P?”