Total pages in book: 82
Estimated words: 77692 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 388(@200wpm)___ 311(@250wpm)___ 259(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 77692 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 388(@200wpm)___ 311(@250wpm)___ 259(@300wpm)
“And the second thing?” I ask.
Halun’s gaze continues to hold mine as he says, “Hallalah is our home, and that is where you and I will remain unless and until death parts us, Zawla. You will remain with me. Always. I cannot possibly envision an existence without you in it. Even if it is one spent with you hating me.”
I scoff, trying to keep my tough exterior even if every inch of his position and expression is the soft contrast to my harshness. “Right, well, it’s not like I can just go and jump off this damned ship, I guess.”
His lips don’t even twitch with a smile.
That irks me a little.
Not that I know why.
Did I want him to smile? Even angry with him, I sit here and still want some part of him. If it all weren’t so sad, it’d be disgusting.
“And I suppose I can’t exactly fly a ship back home,” I mutter, despondent.
Halun tips his head a bit to the side, and lifts one eyebrow in response to my statement. Yes, I can hear how ridiculous it is without his help in the matter.
I turn back to the view provided by the window, and Halun takes that opportunity to stand again, but he doesn’t reach for me or touch me.
“Everything else from this moment forward, however, beyond those two things, are entirely your choice,” he tells me.
I don’t glance back at him when he delivers that statement, not trusting him to say and mean that. Our short, but vivid, history tells me a very different story.
“Sure,” I reply through a tight jaw.
“I mean it, Luna.”
“I’m sure you think you mean it, but—”
“No, I do mean it. Even this bunk—it’s yours. I won’t share it with you unless you invite me in. I won’t impose my presence on you until you ask me to do so. I won’t even share a meal in the same room as you if that’s what will make you happy.”
“So, I could just …” I wave a hand, thinking of something off the top of my head that would be possible on this ship. Finally, it comes to me, as silly as the idea is. “I could go anywhere on the ship, explore as much as I want, and that’s fine. I’ll have unfettered access to do whatever, whenever I want, without you imposing.”
“Even without me,” Halun agrees.
“And now you’re not going to force me to sleep beside you—”
“I never forced you to do that anytime, frankly.”
My jaws snap shut.
He has a bit of a point.
“But no,” he adds softer. “And actually, I have a great deal of duties myself aboard this ship like anyone else who helps to keep it running and maintained for the members currently calling it home. The crew has been good about giving me uninterrupted time with my mate but if she doesn’t want to spend it with me, I am better served working alongside them. Which is what I will do for the remainder of our trip home to Hallalah.”
Is he serious?
His stoic expression and the way he won’t meet my gaze even when I look at him tells me that he is. I wonder just how far he’ll let me take this plan of his, then.
“And if I don’t want to see you at all?”
Halun nods once, and turns on his heels to head for the exit. “Then, you won’t. Should you need me, however, any Hallan on this ship can find me. At any moment, too. I’ll forever be available for and to you, but now, only at your will.”
He leaves the room as he finishes speaking, letting those be his parting words as the panel door slides shut with a hiss. I realize that he’s essentially put the ball—this thing that has become us, despite the mess it is—in my court, but I can’t help but wonder if this is also just a game to him. It’s not as if Halun has shown much self-control in the way of keeping a distance from me before so it’s hard to believe he’s going to start now.
Minutes tick by, one after another and then another again.
So many, I lose count.
He doesn’t come back.
In fact, I’m still sitting on the end of the bed hours later when Zarah and her guard find me because it’s time to go down to the dining hall for food. Where, as Halun promised, I don’t find him waiting to put me on edge as we join a group of Hallans for the first meal we actually take inside the hall. I’m put slightly off kilter by the fact that Halun is nowhere to be seen before, during, or after the meal that I try to keep my focus on making sure Zarah is happy and comfortable until we’re back to our respective rooms.