Total pages in book: 83
Estimated words: 79747 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 399(@200wpm)___ 319(@250wpm)___ 266(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 79747 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 399(@200wpm)___ 319(@250wpm)___ 266(@300wpm)
“I might not be a relationship type,” I say defiantly. She hands me a glass, her brow lifted in question. Okay, maybe. But I don’t know yet. That’s why I’m trying to find myself here.
“I told Dawson I’m a virgin,” I admit, and she swallows her wine slowly. “When he came back to my place after we snuck out after work.”
She sits across from me again. “And how did he take it? Was he pressing you for something?” There’s an edge to her tone. I can’t help but adore her and want to swat away her protectiveness at the same time.
“No, he didn’t.” I continue chopping the fruit. “But I kind of hooked up with him at your wedding in the supply closet. Not sex, but, you know… stuff.”
“I figured something happened between you there,” she admits, and I’m grateful that she’s not calling me silly or out of my mind. I’m happy that she’s listening and letting me vent. “So how did he take it when you told him you were a virgin?”
“He left. And I haven’t seen him since.”
She doesn’t seem surprised.
Oh my God. Is it really that repulsive to be a virgin at my age?
“Okay, so the real question is, do you want to lose your virginity to him? Because from my impression, I don’t think he’s the right person for you, Honey.”
And as furious as I am with Dawson, it still hurts a little to hear. I know it doesn’t make sense. And I know what she speaks is the truth. But I can’t help how attracted I am to the man.
“What do you mean?”
“He sells virgins, Honey. Dawson would have specific expectations. I’ve never seen him so much as show interest in a woman unless it’s work-related. I wonder if he’s doing you a favor by not taking your virginity. I know you don’t want to wait until marriage anymore, and that’s fine, but it doesn’t mean it shouldn’t be with someone special.”
I sigh. Because Rya is completely the opposite of that. She and Crue fuck all day, every day. And how she dealt with men in the past was to use them for sex. So why can’t I have that? Even Rya still sees me as sweet and innocent. And it’s frustrating, even though she means nothing by it.
“He kind of alluded to that,” I say, somewhat disheartened. Damn, how did I get here? There are literally thousands of men in New York. Normal men. I only have to dip my toe into the dating world with one of them.
“So what do you plan to do about it?” she asks.
“Nothing. Nothing at all.” I smile. I don’t want a man who doesn’t want me because of one simple thing. No, I haven’t had sex, but so what? Why is that such a big deal? I mean, I’ve probably already broken my hymen. I’ve done a lot of other things and just because I haven’t had a penis in me, does that make it more taboo?
Well, fuck him.
CHAPTER 16
Honey
It probably wasn’t the smartest move to tell a stranger where I work. I realized that when he walked into the store earlier than expected and straight up to me while my manager was there.
That was awkward.
Thankfully, Alana is amazing and let me go early since we weren’t overly busy. But she’d been surprised when I’d clarified that Marco was far from any type of lover, and this would be my first date here in New York. And now, if anything, she was shoving me into it because she wanted to live vicariously through me.
So now, I sit across from him with him looking at me like he’s about to have me for dinner. Eww. No, thank you.
I mean, he isn’t bad-looking. This man obviously works out. His clothes are tight on him, and he has a nice smile, but the longer I sit here with him smiling at me, the creepier it becomes. My impression of how my first date would go is crumbling fast. Does any vetting happen in dating apps? I’m certain I downloaded the most popular app. But how did it produce… well, this?
“So, do you wear items from the shop under your clothes?” He nods to my dress.
“Excuse me?” I ask indignantly.
“Yeah, I saw a blue piece that would look so good on you.”
My skin crawls. “No, I do not.”
I do, but he doesn’t need to know that because he will never get the chance to find out. Ever.
Fuck. How did it end up like this? Now, I wish Marco was looming over my shoulder so I could at least find the situation laughable.
“I can always buy you something. You get a discount, right? I know that place is expensive.”
“I think I’ll be all right,” I reply, lifting a glass of wine to my lips.