Total pages in book: 69
Estimated words: 65346 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 327(@200wpm)___ 261(@250wpm)___ 218(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 65346 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 327(@200wpm)___ 261(@250wpm)___ 218(@300wpm)
“Rex. Rex, stop.”
“I need a minute.” It was all I could squeeze through my throat. Barely audible, but the crunching of Benji’s shoes on the fallen autumn leaves stopped.
I spent the rest of that day and the next locked inside the guesthouse, curtains drawn, as if the thin white sheets would somehow protect me from the waves of panic and sadness that periodically crashed over me, stealing my breath and crushing my heart.
Benjamin Gold
Six Years Ago
The sound of the ocean waves relaxed me.
We were sitting on the Costa Rican beach, tiki torches lighting up the area. Mav set up a table on the sand so we could all play dominos and hang out. We’d spent all day helping build a new monkey habitat, and tomorrow we were supposed to work all day on cleaning up another one, so relaxing by the beach with my family and some dominoes was pretty perfect.
Oh, and yeah, there was also Rex.
There was always Rex.
Was I obsessed with him? Possibly. Was I ever going to get with him? Absolutely freaking not. He was my brother’s best friend and was obviously straight with all the girlfriends he’s had. I realized pretty early on that I was gay, and I figured I’d be able to pick up on any kind of clues if Rex had an interest in guys. I was pretty observant that way. Not as observant as my brother, Dusty, since he was like a freaking Nobel Prize–winning scientist and would be able to know everything about anything in only a few minutes… but still, I thought I at least had a decent gaydar.
Rex was nowhere on it. Not even a little pity ping.
So fine, I decided to drool over him from afar, while accepting the fact that I’d never be able to put my hands on his chest and my lips on his lips and my—
“Benji, it’s your turn.”
“Oh, right, right.” I grabbed my double nine and unloaded that sucker, leaving me with a two and a zero. Looking around the table, it looked like I also had the least amount of dominos. I was winning, even with the dickstraction sitting across from me.
God, those eyes.
How were they so blue? And that smile, too.
Ugh.
“What’s on the agenda for tomorrow?” Rex asked.
“I think we’re going to help with putting up the Christmas decorations, so Benj, that means you’re going to go all rogue dictator on us until everything looks perfectly Christmassy,” my sister, Kaitlyn, said, knowing me so, soo well.
I shot her a sarcastic smile. “It’s not my fault you guys don’t know how to properly decorate for one of the best—no, the best—holiday there is.”
“I still think I like Thanksgiving more,” my mom, Mia, said, putting a hand around Ashley and kissing the side of her hand. “But I’m biased.”
Thanksgiving had been when they first met, so sure, I’d let them have their thing.
Still thought Christmas was better, though.
A warm kind of happiness floated through me as I looked around the table at the people I loved the most in this world. Dusty and I hadn’t had the easiest childhood, but being a Gold more than made up for all the bullshit.
This had been a Gold family trip, so we were all here, even Momma Ash, who had been working a really big case these last few weeks. And yes, “family” also included Rex. He’d been my brother’s friend since I could remember, and he’d been around us all long enough to be considered as one of us. Being a family of adopted kids taught us early that the real bonds were the ones made in the heart and not the blood. Plus, his own family didn’t sound nearly as welcoming or accepting as ours, so he hung out with us more often than not. That meant coming on our yearly volunteer trips. Last year it had been to Belize and the year before that was to Kenya, which was where I first remember drooling over Rex after he had taken off his shirt to work on cleaning an animal enclosure. Dusty called me out about sixty-nine times for breaking my neck in Rex’s direction, which, coincidentally, was exactly the kind of move I had been picturing between me and—
“Benj, yoo-hoo? Are you with us, or are you having some prophetic vision about the end of the world?” Mav asked, waving his hand in front of my face.
Rex laughed, the sound hitting me deep in the gut. I looked his way, smiled, blushed, and plopped down one of my last pieces.
“Nah, just a vision of me winning the game.”
“Ohh,” Rex said, placing one of his pieces down. “He’s cocky tonight.”
“Always.”
It was Dusty’s turn. He dropped his last piece and raised his hands in victory. “About that vision,” he said, smiling as everyone else revealed the last pieces they had.