Total pages in book: 166
Estimated words: 157273 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 786(@200wpm)___ 629(@250wpm)___ 524(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 157273 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 786(@200wpm)___ 629(@250wpm)___ 524(@300wpm)
“Thanks.” I labeled the box with a black marker and set it aside. “I should have told her. I had a million opportunities and chose not to. That’s on me. Not you. I’m the one who lost her.” My phone vibrated, dancing across the desk, and I caught it before it fell over the edge.
Beachman: Grizzly tonight?
I typed out a quick reply.
Ellis: Done deal. But not too late. Movers are here in the a.m.
Beachman: Fine, Cinderella. Midnight it is.
“I know you’re not used to begging forgiveness, but it requires actually doing something,” he lectured. “Sacrificing your pride, or your ego—”
“Giving her the space she needs is the fucking sacrifice!” I snapped. “She’s happy, Gavin. Maybe for the first time in her life. She’s back on top of her game. You think I don’t want to show up at her door? Barge into her life and throw myself at her mercy? You think it was easy to walk away from her on that street? That any of this is about to be easy? I will have to fight my selfish need for her every single day. I will be this close”—I pinched my fingers, leaving an inch of space between them—“to having everything I’ve dreamed of, and yet so fucking far that I may as well just stay here.”
“You’re absolutely not staying here.” He shook his head.
I gestured to the boxes. “Hence the moving. Allie puts everyone else’s needs first, always has, and she’s not going to put mine first. If that means I have to watch from a distance as she lives her life without me, then it fucking sucks, but so be it. I love her enough to let her go.”
“The if-you-love-something-set-it-free thing is overrated.” He set the baseball down. “I still think you should have snatched her off the street four weeks ago, thrown her in the truck, and driven straight to Sitka. Off and gone, happily ever after. Dream place? Check. Dream girl? Check. You could have worked your shit out on the road trip.”
“Kidnapping aside,” I said slowly, reaching for another box, “you wanted me to drive her to Sitka, where there is no Metropolitan Ballet Company for her to be the badass she is? That’s like taking the best quarterback in the NFL to live in Hawaii.”
“There are no NFL teams in Hawaii.” He looked at me like I’d sprouted wings.
“Exactly. I would never do that to her. She belongs in New York.” I dragged the tape across the bottom of the cardboard. “Can we please change the damned subject?”
The door swung open, and I looked over my shoulder as Juniper walked in, Caroline close on her heels, carrying a casserole dish. “Honey, take this to the kitchen, would you please?”
“Yep.” Juniper waved, then ran off with the glassware.
“Okay, I brought lasagna.” Caroline hung her purse on the coat-tree. “Just need to pop it in around four—” She gawked at Gavin. “Please tell me that you’re actually helping him pack and not just sitting there like our brother isn’t moving the day after tomorrow.”
Gavin shrugged. “It’s not like the military isn’t sending movers.”
“Get up!” Caroline snapped. “Now. Get a box and get packing.”
“So bossy,” he whined, hefting himself out of the chair.
I didn’t fight my grin. This right here was what I was going to miss. The bickering and the laughter. Watching Juniper grow and trying to figure out what she was going to scheme up next so I could get a step ahead of her. I was going to miss my family. They’d only be a visit away, but it wouldn’t be the same.
I glanced up at the framed map of Alaska above my desk. Some dreams required action, but others had to wait, so that’s what I was going to do. Wait.
Opening the desk drawer, I found the picture of Allie and me that Juniper had pilfered from storage earlier in the summer. My chest cracked open—at least that’s what it felt like.
How the hell could I love her like this, need her like air, and not be with her? How did a love like that go to complete and utter waste? She loved me and I loved her, and it still wasn’t enough. Time was my only hope of ever getting her back.
I slipped the picture into my back pocket and packed the rest of the drawer’s contents in the box.
“I can’t believe you’re leaving,” Caroline muttered, packing books at a speed that made me second-guess my own work ethic. “I mean, I can. I’m happy for you. You deserve everything good there is to have. Tape.” She held out her hand.
Stunned and a little frightened, I handed it over. I glanced down at my phone. She’d be here any minute. Perfect timing.
“And we’ll be fine.” She sealed the box and pushed it over to Gavin. “Make yourself useful and label that. And no, writing porn is not a funny way to get back at him.”