Vampires, Whiskey, and Southern Charm (Masie Kicklighter #1) Read Online Mimi Jean Pamfiloff

Categories Genre: Fantasy/Sci-fi, Magic, Paranormal, Vampires Tags Authors: Series: Masie Kicklighter Series by Mimi Jean Pamfiloff
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Total pages in book: 67
Estimated words: 64030 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 320(@200wpm)___ 256(@250wpm)___ 213(@300wpm)
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“Hell if I know. I’ll call Willie and have him set out a trap,” Jimmie said.

Willie was our exterminator, but he was usually dealing with mice prevention. “I hope he’s got a really big trap.”

Later that evening, I was helping out Joe at the bar during a sudden rush of customers who’d come from the art festival. Jimmie was working on some broken pipe in the warehouse. It looked like it was going to be a busy night.

“I should see if Claire can come in and help,” I told Joe. It was her night off.

“We got this. Unless you’re allergic to gettin’ your hands dirty, boss.” He smirked.

He knew I wasn’t a stranger to hard work. “Well, at least if anyone touches my honey cakes, I can eighty-six them now.” Depending on the severity of the infraction, Jimmie usually gave people a few chances before banning them. He said that everyone deserved second chances. Sometimes thirds. I wasn’t so sure my rear agreed, though I would give Jimmie credit; he never put up with anyone threatening us or getting rough. Getting handsy was considered bad manners in his book, not a cardinal sin.

“Here comes trouble now.” Joe’s eyes zeroed in on a group of three men coming through the door. They wore dirty biker jackets and had long scraggly hair and perma-snarls.

“Oh boy.” They looked like they’d just gotten released from Mad Max’s supermax. My first reaction was to let Jimmie know, but then I stopped myself. If I was going to run this place, I had to start dealing with customers. All the customers. “I’ll take their table. Let Ashley and Maybell know to steer clear of them.”

The men sat at a large round table for six, closest to the jukebox. Normally, we’d ask people to leave those open for larger groups on busy nights, but I didn’t want to split hairs.

I pasted on my warmest, sparkly smile and walked over, preparing to feel out their vibe. “Well, good evenin’, gents. Welcome to the Flaming Rooster. Can I get you anything to start, or do you wanna chance to look at the menu? We have a special tonight: a flight of flamin’ hot Kicklighter Whiskeys, if that’s your poison.”

The shortest one, with greasy brown hair past his shoulders, stared with the coldest dark eyes I’d ever seen on a man.

Suddenly, I felt an icy gust of air circling around me.

Oh, baby Jesus. He was a vampire.

Instinctively, I took a step back.

The man closest to me, with a shaved head, smiled sadistically. “What’s the matter, sweetheart?” he said with a slithery drawl. “We don’t bite.”

And I’m the tooth fairy.

I tried to keep the smile on my face, but if they were vampires, they could already hear my heart dancing around inside my chest. They knew I was terrified.

The creepiest one in the middle spoke up with an ominous tone. “We understand Montgomery Stark frequents this establishment?”

I wasn’t about to respond without knowing the reason for the question. If they were his enemies, seemed like a bad idea to rat Stark out and risk ticking him off.

Not unless they can take him out. Even then, who was to say that these mean SOBs wouldn’t move right into Leiper’s Fork and take his place?

Better the devil you know.

Honestly, though? How many vampires were out there? Seemed wrong to have more rolling up into town when I hadn’t gotten over the first one.

The man narrowed his black eyes, urging me to reply. “Yes or no?”

“Look, boys, I don’t keep track of who comes and goes from our bar. So if you’re not here to eat or drink—” I quickly clarified “—drink alcohol, just leave, okay?”

The three stared like I was a sad little horsefly, not even worth swatting.

I instantly wanted to kick myself for being so polite. I didn’t presume to know if all vampires shunned politeness, but this bunch sure wasn’t here to show off their good manners.

“We’ll leave when you answer our question,” said the bald one.

I switched gears, smacking my hands on the table, narrowing my eyes. “You’ll leave now. And don’t make me lose my temper.”

The one in the middle chuckled and leaned back in his chair, arms crossed. “Whatcha gonna do, woman?”

Me? I’m going to try to BS my way through this, because I’m no match for you.

I flashed a crooked smile and spoke slowly, praying they wouldn’t call my bluff. “If you cross me, you’ll find your sorry behinds in the cemetery next to the son of a Bisquick who killed my friend Deedee. Don’t believe me? Go take a sniff.” I paused for effect. “He didn’t think much of me either.” I stood up straight and smiled cheerfully. “Now,” I whooshed out a breath with a smile, “out you go and make it quick, because I gotta nice, sharp woodchipper in my yard for the likes of you.”



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