Total pages in book: 85
Estimated words: 79145 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 396(@200wpm)___ 317(@250wpm)___ 264(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 79145 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 396(@200wpm)___ 317(@250wpm)___ 264(@300wpm)
“Thank you for letting me sleep,” she whispers, moving her hand from James to settle on my jaw.
“Anytime, baby.” I turn my head, kissing her palm.
“I love this chair,” she says, making me chuckle. Two months before James came home, July had her dad go into the attic and bring over the rocker that had been in her family for generations. She and her sisters argued for days over who got what, and July finally pulled the ‘I’m the oldest’ card and got the chair.
“It’s a nice chair,” I agree, rocking the three of us until I feel her body relax and James’ little body sink into mine.
*
July
I look at the pregnancy test in my hand and cannot believe what I’m seeing. Since we brought James home, I have been feeling ill. I honestly didn’t think much of it until this morning, when I walked into the kitchen, where Wes was standing shirtless, flipping bacon, the smell touched my nose and I got sick. That had never happened before, not ever. They say it’s possible when you adopt that sometimes something clicks into place, and voila—you end up pregnant.
“Holy cow,” I breathe then look at myself in the mirror, bursting into tears. I never believed I would take a pregnancy test and have it come out positive. After so many attempts of IUI then IVF, I gave up. Now, I have James, and we’re pregnant.
“Babe, you good?” Wes asks, knocking on the door, and I toss the test in a drawer quickly.
“Yeah, sorry, I spaced out,” I say. I mouth, I spaced out? in the mirror to myself, shaking my head, then splash some water on my face to conceal my tears and open the door.
“James is sleeping. Why don’t you lay down for a bit?” he asks, and I nod absently as he kisses my hair then tilts my head back to get my eyes. “You sure you’re good?” he questions, making that panic from a few minutes ago disappear.
“I’m sure,” I tell him, and he kisses me briefly then takes off down the hall. I head to the bedroom then pick up my phone and call my doctor, setting up an appointment for later in the afternoon.
“I’ve got to head out,” I tell Wes, walking into the living room, where he and James are sitting and watching TV.
“Where are you going?” he asks, looking concerned.
“I need to meet Kayan,” I say the first lie that comes to mind.
“Come kiss me,” he demands, and I go to him, kissing him then James, trying to avoid the look in his eyes as I make it out of the house.
When I get to my Jeep, I start it up and head into town. We sold our house in town a couple years ago, and Wes bought a piece of property from my dad and built a house on it. I love our house, but I loved it more, knowing Wes and my family had built it.
“You’re pregnant,” Dr. Marks says, then I turn my head when there is a pounding on the door of the exam room.
“Are you sure this isn’t a fluke?” I whisper in shock. Dr. Marks has been with us since the beginning. He knows how much we have struggled with getting pregnant.
“I’m sure,” he says, and the pounding gets louder.
“July,” Wes says from the other side, and I feel my eyes grow wide in shock then look at Dr. Marks as he opens the door.
“Congratulations, Wes,” he says as Wes steps into the room.
“You lied,” he says to me, then looks at Dr. Marks and growls, “Congratulations on what?”
“You’re going to be a dad, and actually, we can do an ultrasound today if you like, since you’re both here.”
“What?” Wes says, looking at me then stumbling over to one of the chairs sitting down. “Pregnant?” he asks then shakes his head. “How is that possible?”
“Sometimes, it just happens,” Dr. Marks says, looking proud, like it was his doing. “I’m going to give you guys a few minutes and go get the ultrasound set up.”
“Where’s James?” I ask, seeing our son isn’t with him.
“He’s with your mom. When did you find out?”
“This morning. I took a test, one of the leftovers that had been collecting dust. I didn’t think it would be positive, and when it said I was pregnant, I wanted to know for sure before telling you,” I say, hoping he understands. I hated seeing the disappointment in his eyes every time I took a test. I hated that no matter what I did we weren’t getting pregnant, and no doctor could answer why. Why couldn’t we have a baby?
“You know how I feel about that kind of shit,” he says, and I do know how he feels about me keeping things from him, but if it’s tell him and have him hurt, or save him that, I would do it all over again.