Total pages in book: 169
Estimated words: 162138 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 811(@200wpm)___ 649(@250wpm)___ 540(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 162138 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 811(@200wpm)___ 649(@250wpm)___ 540(@300wpm)
“If I tell you that you look beautiful, will you throw your glass of water in my face?” he asked, his deep voice tickling my ear.
My heart raced the way it did every time he was around. It had become such a foreign feeling that I thought I was dying the first time it happened. I tried to fight the shiver that rolled through my body and, hoping to keep my face impassive, continued to count to ten. I didn’t know what I’d done to earn Lachlan Duke’s attention, but I wish I could undo it. It would make things so much easier. A few times, I’d given in and flirted back, kicking myself each time for doing so. The last thing I needed was to give him a reason to think we could be friends. Or worse, more than friends.
It wouldn't have been a question if I’d met him a few years ago. I would have welcomed this insanity. I would have thrown myself into it without a second thought. Now, though, I couldn’t open myself up to anyone, especially not him. He had a bright future ahead of him, according to the sports articles I’d found when I searched for him. I waited for another three counts and braced myself to look at him. He was too good-looking and even more so in that suit. I let my eyes take him in — his thick brown, normally tousled hair was brushed back. My gaze drifted down his perfect olive skin, full lips, and carved jawline. His dark lashes were to kill for, and those eyes — olive green with specks of brown — wrecked me every time. He was tall and imposing in a way that either made you feel safe or terrified. He evoked both for me.
He’d never know it, though. He’d never know how much I wanted to reach out and touch each one of his features. He’d never know that he was the only one who had ever made me feel this way. People threw the word love around all the time. I didn’t know what this was, but I didn’t think it was that. There was just something about him. He looked at me like I mattered. Like he saw me, the person hidden beneath the grief and the guilt.
“Thank you.” My lips moved. I smiled or gave him whatever was left of it these days. “You look beautiful as well.”
His eyes danced. He leaned in and whispered, “Is this a nightmare for you?”
My body went rigid. He couldn’t have known just how much of a nightmare it was for me to do anything tonight, let alone be around people. He’d just said these words to me the other day and gotten a response, but tonight was different. The other day, the question was amusing. Tonight, the words cut through me like claws, shredding whatever was left of my broken heart. I continued to count and breathe until I got myself together. The last thing I needed was to draw attention and drag him into this. I swallowed hard. Fuck. On any other night, I would have been able to keep my impassive, blasé attitude. I might have even been able to laugh at his comment. Tonight, my eyes watered without permission. I bit my lip hard as my nails started blurring on my lap. I counted to ten and started again. I felt his hand, just a brush of his fingertips on my shoulder, and shook my head, biting my lip harder. At the first taste of blood, my brain snapped out of it. When I finally trusted myself to speak, I cleared my throat and pushed my chair back.
“I’ll be right back.”
“Hey, you okay?” That was Banks.
“Yep. Just saw someone I need to say hi to.” I pushed my chair in and walked out of the tent.
Thank God, there were four exits to this thing. I walked through the nearest one in the direction of the guest house. A group of people talking near the door forced me to change course. I side-stepped the purple flower bed Marie just had put in for this event — official Fairview school colors — and pushed open the gate that led to the small area between the houses. It was a sanctuary where I used to hang out and talk and sometimes drink or smoke pot with my friends. It was where I’d had my first kiss and lost my virginity. I was so reckless back then — so carefree, so trusting, so fucking stupid.
Thinking about how I used to be made me want to scream. I should have just left the event, but I knew that decision would have repercussions. I sat on the bench and focused on taking calming deep breaths. When that didn’t work, and I still felt like crying, I stood up and started pacing. I chanted my usual mantra: Just get through this. Just get through tonight. I was pacing back to the other side, still chanting quietly, when I saw his form in the dark and froze mid-step. He took a step forward, right underneath the tealights Marissa and I helped Mom put up. God, that felt like a lifetime ago.