Total pages in book: 99
Estimated words: 94527 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 473(@200wpm)___ 378(@250wpm)___ 315(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 94527 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 473(@200wpm)___ 378(@250wpm)___ 315(@300wpm)
I tapped my fingers against my lips, unable to hold back the familiar rush I got from these operations. Creating a new identity was fucking fun, and now I’d get the chance to create someone solely for Shan’s pleasure.
What kind of man would he like?
What would be realistic?
What kind of man would go for this type of arrangement?
Could I create a persona that didn’t betray who I was?
I didn’t wanna fake too much. I didn’t wanna pretend to be into something that I wasn’t. Shan was going to get me in the sack. In that bed, on that couch, I wanted to express myself freely—physically.
“Jesus Christ,” I whispered to myself. My heart beat faster the more I thought of what all this could mean. I was going to become someone else in order to finally show him who I could be if he’d just…view me differently.
I was days away from being able to kiss and touch every inch of his body.
I sucked in a breath and pinched my lips. In a moment where I was supposed to be riddled with guilt and doubt, I was fighting a grin. For a hot second, I wasn’t nervous at all. I couldn’t fucking wait. It was going to be so goddamn liberating.
As long as he followed through. I couldn’t be sure he would, to be honest. Maybe he’d bail at the last minute.
When Shannon woke up, I managed to take a step back from the situation and fill him in just like I would with any other mate who’d asked for a favor. I handed over the phone, a charger, one key, one set of wristbands, and told him what he needed to know.
I’d ordered Thai for dinner, and it was delivered just as I finished explaining to Shan that he really had nothing to worry about when it came to privacy. My idea or suggestion was that they—we—agreed on a time to meet up, and one of them would arrive five or ten minutes earlier. Then they wouldn’t run into each other in the club area. And while I accepted the food containers, tipped the delivery guy, and grabbed us utensils, it was nice to let Shan process on his own. I wasn’t sure I wanted to read his expression.
We had guys in the syndicate who did this kind of thing all the time. Married men with girlfriends on the side, lonely guys who just needed someone, mates who weren’t interested in a relationship—or the hassle of finding one-nighters on Tinder. And some of those guys came to me instead, and I hooked them up with various arrangements.
“Let’s eat.” I was starving. I sat down on the couch next to Shan and flipped open a container with green curry chicken and rice. My favorite.
“I’m not hungry,” he replied distractedly, eyeing the phone in his hand.
“Sir, I wasn’t asking.” I chewed on a mouthful of food and opened another container for him. “You wouldn’t look good skinny, just so you know.”
I wasn’t lying. It was bad enough that he was losing his muscle strength.
He frowned at me. “That’s a bit too honest, don’t you think?”
“There’s no such thing.” I gave his food a pointed look. “Eat. I got you that stir-fry you like.”
He grumbled something under his breath, then picked up a fork. “Is he expecting introductions or anything? And what about payment?”
I shook my head. “Just text a time and day you want him to be there. Payment’s been taken care of. Some things are worth more than money.”
Not that I’d be able to cash in any favors here, but I didn’t mind letting Shan think so.
He hummed and nodded slowly, and it was clear that he was forcing himself to eat. It was another thing we had to work on—his appetite. One meal a day was nowhere near enough, especially not when he only managed a few mouthfuls.
“How often do you do this for men in the syndicate?” he asked.
I smirked a little. “It happens.”
He narrowed his eyes. “Is it still like it was before? Many married men who…”
More than he’d guess. Few men were as traditional in that aspect as Shan, Liam, and Finn.
“I haven’t been the go-to guy that long, so I don’t know how it used to be,” I fibbed. Technically, it was true, though I had a pretty good idea.
Shan sighed and let go of the topic. “Perhaps it’s best I’ve lost touch with the organization. I can’t imagine getting back into things. The thought exhausts me.”
Everything exhausted him.
Case in point, he excused himself five minutes later to get some more sleep.
I shook my head to myself. Tomorrow I was calling Finn. Or I could head over to see him at his office, ’cause something had to give. Perhaps I should call Viv too. Shan had mentioned he was gonna call her about antidepressants, and none of us could afford to have that postponed. I didn’t need a medical degree to know that he needed to turn his hours around again. Sleep at night, be awake during the day—incorporate some forced exercise. He could always come with me to the gym. It was literally a ten-second walk from our building, right across the street.