Total pages in book: 97
Estimated words: 94687 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 473(@200wpm)___ 379(@250wpm)___ 316(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 94687 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 473(@200wpm)___ 379(@250wpm)___ 316(@300wpm)
“Hey, Coach,” I said, glad to see some of his spirit was intact.
“That you, Shaw?”
“It’s me.”
“You been skipping practice.”
“Sorry, Coach. I’m here now.”
“Good. I need a word.”
“I’ll give you guys some time,” David said. “Tyler, want anything from the coffee shop?”
“No, thanks.” I gave him a wave and sat down in the chair he’d vacated. “What can I do for you, Coach?”
“Can you spring me?”
I grinned. “Nope.”
He sighed heavily, closing his eyes. “Figures.”
“You doing okay?”
One eye popped open again. “I look okay to you?”
“I’ve seen you look better,” I admitted.
“Yuh.” His eyes closed again, and he was silent for so long that I thought he might have fallen asleep. I was almost about to doze off myself when he spoke. “I was talking to your dad about you.”
I was about to ask when, but realized A, he might not even be able to answer that, and B, it really didn’t matter. “Oh yeah? What did he have to say?”
“He’s worried.”
Present tense. Interesting. I shifted in my chair. “About what?”
“He thinks maybe he pushed you too hard to be the best.”
“Nah.”
That one eye opened again. “You gonna let me talk?”
“Yes. Sorry.”
“He said he didn’t want you to feel like baseball was the only thing that mattered. Because even the best careers only last so long. There are things that matter more and last longer.”
“Yeah, we never really got a chance to have that conversation.”
“We’re having it now, aren’t we?”
“I guess.”
He appeared to go back to sleep, and I felt restless. A couple minutes later he spoke again. “You asked me why you got the chance to prove yourself and he didn’t.”
“Huh?”
“The last time you came to practice. You asked me that. About your dad.”
“Oh. Right.”
“But he did prove himself, didn’t he?”
My first thought was that Virgil was confused again. What I’d meant was that my father had loved baseball like I did, but he hadn’t gotten the chance to prove himself where it really mattered—on the field, in front of thousands of screaming fans and television cameras and the best players in the game. But before I opened my mouth, I realized what he meant.
My dad had proved himself where it really mattered—as a dad.
On his own, with two children. Working his fingers to the bone. Making sure we were housed and fed and clothed, and beyond that, loved. I’d always felt loved. It had given me the confidence to chase my dreams.
“Holy shit,” I whispered. “Holy shit! You’re right, Coach. He did prove himself when and where and how it mattered most.”
Virgil said nothing, but he nodded. Closed his eyes.
“It’s not just about the ballfield. It’s not about strikeouts or home runs or the speed of a fastball. In the end, it’s about who’s there for you, and why. Through the highs and lows, the wins and the losses. It’s about the people who love and support you through anything because of who you are, not what you do. It’s about family.”
Virgil began to snore.
I stood up. “Sorry, Coach. I have to go.”
On my way down the hall, I nearly crashed into David, who was carrying a cardboard cup of coffee. “Hey,” he said. “Did he insult you?”
“No, just the opposite. He gave me the best advice he’s ever given me!” I shouted as I raced for the elevator.
David laughed. “Well, good!”
I punched the down button until the doors opened, barreled into the elevator, and hit L.
As it began to descend, I prayed that who I was would be enough to make up for what I’d done.
Twenty-Five
April
At my next therapy appointment, I told Prisha about everything. By the time I got to the end, I was pretty sure she was going to need to call her own therapist.
“Well. That is a lot to handle in a very short amount of time,” she said. “How are you doing?”
“Better,” I said. It had been ten days since Tyler had left my house, and I’d managed to get through yesterday without any tears. That was better, right?
“Are you really? Or are you saying that to please me?”
I winced. “Probably a little of both. I’m still really sad, to be honest. I know he was only here a short time, but we came so far so fast—at least it felt like it to me. We were so open with each other, and it just felt so right. When he said he wanted to move here, I guess I got carried away. I envisioned this whole future for us.”
“It’s natural to be excited about a new relationship.”
“Yeah, but in my case I definitely stopped listening to anything I didn’t want to hear. He was up front right from the start that he didn’t want a serious relationship. He never lied to me. He just sort of . . .” I shrugged as Tyler’s words echoed through my head. “Led me to believe he was ready for something he wasn’t.”