Total pages in book: 97
Estimated words: 94687 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 473(@200wpm)___ 379(@250wpm)___ 316(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 94687 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 473(@200wpm)___ 379(@250wpm)___ 316(@300wpm)
“Because he said he wanted to be a gentleman this time.”
“Like he was trying to make up for last time?”
“Exactly. He said he saw it as an opportunity to do the right thing, like a good guy would. He drove me home because I drank a little too much, and he said he’d promised me no detours this time, and he was determined to keep his word.”
Chloe sighed. “Can’t fault him for that, I suppose.”
I turned and faced her. “It’s not that I fault him, Chloe, it’s that I want him. I think I want him even more because he was such a nice guy last night. If he’d tried to put his hand up my skirt or something, I probably would have been mad. Tonight could be a different story though.”
“You’re seeing him again tonight?”
I nodded. “After the rehearsal dinner he’s coming back here. For a dance lesson.”
“A dance lesson?”
“He’s nervous about dancing with Sadie tomorrow. I promised to show him a couple easy moves. It’s not that I’m worried about—it’s what could happen afterward.”
“What’s the problem? If he wants you, and you want him . . .”
“But why do I want him, Chloe? It doesn’t make any sense.” I tapped my head.
“Uh, yes it does. He’s ridiculously hot. And you guys have history.”
“But it’s stupid—he’s only in town for two more days.”
She cocked her head. “How long do you think sex takes?”
I stopped moving and looked at her. “You know what I mean. I’m not interested in a weekend sex fling. At least, I shouldn’t be.”
“Why not?”
“Because I’m supposed to be trying to find the one.” I threw my arms in the air. “I want the damn one! But if he could just hurry up, that would be great, because I haven’t had sex in a really, really long time, and I’m getting a little desperate!”
Chloe laughed. “That’s exactly why this attraction to Tyler makes sense. Even though your mind knows he’s not the one, your orgasm is like, ‘Hey, remember me?’”
“What’s an orgasm?” I asked irritably. “I vaguely recall one from 2015, but it might have been self-inflicted.”
“Exactly.”
I crossed one arm over my stomach and chewed the thumb of the opposite hand. “You don’t think it’s a terrible idea?”
“It’s a terrible idea if you’re looking for something deep and meaningful out of it. But if all you’re looking for is a good time, and it won’t mess with your head, maybe it’s part of the closure you’re looking for. Like maybe you need to get him out of your system once and for all. On your terms.”
I perched on the edge of my desk again. “Maybe.”
“But for the love of God, use protection if you do.”
I laughed. “I’m pretty sure Tyler would be all over that. The man does not want children.”
“No?”
I shook my head. “We talked about it last night.”
“Really.” Chloe crossed her legs. “That’s interesting. Did you guys discuss the adoption thing at all?”
“We did, actually. Not until the end of the night when he took me home, but then he came right out and asked me about it. He wanted to know whether the baby I had was a boy or a girl.”
“Wow. How did he take the news?”
I shrugged. “He was quiet at first, but when I told him about the couple who adopted him, he said he was glad he’d asked. It’s so weird, Chloe. I really think he was able to move on from it just like that”—I snapped my fingers—“and never feel anything about it again.”
“Yeah, well, in general, guys are better at that than women. They can file their emotions away in a box and not allow them to seep into other parts of their lives. Especially a guy like Tyler, who had a fuck ton of pressure to deal with.”
“Yeah.”
“But that doesn’t mean they’re not still there,” she said, surprising me. “It just means he doesn’t like opening that box. Most men don’t.”
“What about Oliver?”
She rolled her eyes. “Oliver was excellent at keeping the box locked up. But he is learning that opening it up is not going to kill him, and in fact, science has shown it leads to increased blowjobs and occasional butt stuff.”
I burst out laughing. “Okay. Good to know—sort of.”
Chloe smiled and stood up. “I better get home. We have dinner plans with Mack and Frannie tonight. Did this help at all?”
“I think so,” I hedged. “I guess I have to just learn to feel the things I feel without judging myself, no matter what they are.”
“I agree one thousand percent,” she said, coming forward to give me a hug. “And you’re going to be okay no matter what.”
After my chat with Chloe, I stayed busy checking tasks off my list, including setup for Sadie’s wedding and thinking about potential songs for Tyler and Sadie’s dance. I stayed away from anything slow, sappy and overdone, and gravitated toward songs that reminded me of their sibling relationship—playful, loving, timeless. In the end I had a short list of suggestions that included tunes by Frank Sinatra, Stevie Wonder, Amy Winehouse, and John Legend.