Total pages in book: 79
Estimated words: 75481 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 377(@200wpm)___ 302(@250wpm)___ 252(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 75481 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 377(@200wpm)___ 302(@250wpm)___ 252(@300wpm)
Seeing it now from a distance, it was admirable, really. Funny how that worked. Absence made you appreciate stuff more.
“Tell me about your week,” she said, and I could hear that undercurrent of excitement in her tone. “I watched the Tuesday and Wednesday shows. I liked Kendall’s fancy pantsuit.”
“That was a nice look on her.” Mom would eventually get around to asking me about the celebrities I’d met, but she liked to focus on the clothes, knowing that was part of my job.
The guilt still got to me, that I was the only one in my family who’d chosen his own path. But I’d always felt that way about my upbringing—sort of different and disconnected. And not only because I was gay, though that certainly stirred up some drama, and I’d thought maybe it would create an even bigger wedge between my father and me. Surprisingly, he’d asked a bunch of questions and tried to understand the best he could, and that helped in its own way.
But I just wasn’t content, like there was this itch under my skin. It would’ve helped if I had any idea what I wanted to do with my life, and even moving to the city didn’t exactly make anything come to light. I took a bunch of temp jobs and felt ashamed when my parents asked about them because it was never anything permanent.
Sometimes I’d made the jobs seem better than they were. Anything corporate-sounding was glitzy to them. So you could imagine how Mom squealed upon hearing about the Kendall Jacobs Show. It likely felt even more surreal because working for a celebrity was a completely different way of life.
I couldn’t imagine Rowan understanding that disconnect from my parents. In fact, the idea of him knowing the nitty-gritty details about my family—the grimmer stories I’d kept to myself about finances and making ends meet—and turning his nose up, made my stomach sour. He’d probably never struggled financially a day in his life.
“Maybe someday you’ll get to the city, and I’ll introduce you to Kendall.”
I held my breath, knowing that idea wouldn’t fly, not only because it was expensive but because they rarely left our small town, let alone their business. I might’ve wanted to hightail it out of there, but I still missed my family sometimes. I’d visited during the holidays and might even squeeze in another trip this summer, but flights were pricey, and no way I’d ask them for help. They would wonder why I’d made the move at all.
“We’re so busy right now,” she replied in a conciliatory tone. “But I like when you send us photos and videos. Makes your dad and me feel like we’re there with you.”
And that would have to be good enough for now. I plastered a smile on my face even though she couldn’t see me. “Then I’ll make sure to send more.”
There was a pause before she sighed. “I love you, Shae. We’re proud of you.”
“Thanks. Love you too.”
I stared at the muted television long after the call ended, thinking about the last year of my life and wondering what was to come. It was hard to see the forest for the trees, but I was determined to make the most of it. At least Dad and I had that in common.
6
From behind the scenes, I watched the first Kendall Jacobs Show being recorded, and not only because a favorite musician was a guest. It was satisfying to see the outcome of all the work and preparations that occurred beforehand, beyond the makeup and wardrobe departments. The live audience was rowdier today, and that only buoyed the jovial mood on the set.
Sometimes the viewers were more restrained and full of wonder—and who wouldn’t be? It was a front-row glimpse into how a television show worked, celebrities and all. But today, when the CLAP cue card was held up, a group of women in the back erupted with cheers, and that got the rest of them going. They were way louder than the audience yesterday.
“I love hearing that excitement! We’ve got a great show today,” Kendall said, perking up, but I could hear the congestion in her voice. She’d come into work a bit under the weather and, as a result, resorted to what she called her more comfy clothing. Rowan was distracted enough to let her call the shots and not argue her choices.
In fact, he seemed so subdued that I wondered if he was feeling ill as well. When he snapped at me, I let it go, not daring to ask again.
I had my suspicions, though. Tomorrow was the charity event, and I was still feeling on edge about attending. I’d hoped if I’d ignored it long enough, Rowan might forget he’d invited me or change his mind. But no such luck. He informed me he’d borrowed a tux from the set and was having it altered to fit my measurements, which had been taken by a tailor the network used. He’d promised to help me with the fitting this afternoon. I had no idea what that even meant because I’d only ever worn stuff off the rack, but he assured me all would be taken care of. With any luck, his plans would fall through, and I’d have to bow out with nothing to wear. No way he’d trust me to come up with something on my own. Rowan’s outfit was all set, of course, his tux courtesy of the Ralph Lauren, and I had no doubt he’d look fabulous.