Total pages in book: 58
Estimated words: 56107 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 281(@200wpm)___ 224(@250wpm)___ 187(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 56107 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 281(@200wpm)___ 224(@250wpm)___ 187(@300wpm)
I sit on my bed and kick off my flip-flops, trying to find the words. “I can’t explain it, Sof. It was…magic.”
“Did you fuck him?” she asks eagerly.
“No. And honestly, I think it would’ve ruined the day.”
“Uh, define ruin. Because that man was a fuck stick in a man suit.”
“I’m being serious, Sof. It was like we were in our own little world today—happy, no pressure, being ourselves. It was the best first date I’ve ever had.”
“Did he kiss you?”
“Nope.” I smile. “And it was hot.”
“You mean the opposite of hot.”
“Nope. You should’ve seen us. The tension is completely there.” I was looking at him. He was looking at me. The attraction was electric. “But the weird part is, I was enjoying not kissing, and I think he was, too. Almost like…we both just knew it was going to happen, but we wanted to wait until the moment is right.” After all, you only get one first kiss with your Mr. Right. Why not be patient and make it memorable?
“Are you going to see him again?” Sofie asks.
“Tomorrow. We’re going to some beach on the other side of the island. How about you?”
Sofie shrugs. “I think things with Romeo and me ran its course.”
“So soon?”
“Yeah, well, apparently you were right. He’s a ladies’ man, and half the women at the club last night were his ladies. I got the impression he wanted to add me to his harem for a night.”
“Ew. Gang bang?” Don’t get me wrong. I like sex. Correction. I like hot sex. But I’m just not into the group thing. Nor the public thing, swinger thing, or pain thing. To me, the best sex is with one man I find incredibly attractive and trust. Rough, soft, toys, and no toys are all good, but sex has to be in a situation where I feel comfortable. Not that I haven’t had a one-night stand just for the sake of getting off or that I haven’t experimented a little—I mean, there was that time in college—but I wouldn’t call any of that great or hot sex. It was…just sex.
I guess, at the end of the day, I feel like intimacy should be exactly that: intimate. Private.
“I think he was definitely angling for the orgy,” Sofie says. “But the moment I asked if some of his hot friends would be joining in—because, oh Christ, does he have hot friends—Romeo freaked out.” Sofie shakes her head stoically. “I guess he’s not into fucking his friends.”
“Oh, no.” I gasp mockingly, covering my mouth. “What sort of man is he? Everyone knows a true friendship means fucking each other in giant orgies. Participation points are everything. Just like us, right?” I joke. Truthfully, I get that some women are into women, but as far as I’m concerned, one vagina in my life is more than enough. It’s a very high-maintenance relationship as is. I can’t imagine trying to deal with two vaginas. Or three! Madness.
The same goes for men who have more than one woman in their lives. What would possibly possess anyone to sign up for so much work? Keeping vaginas satisfied isn’t easy.
And let’s not forget how expensive they are. Like a rare exotic pet. You must buy them pretty clothes with proper ventilation and costly monthly gear. On top of that, there are grooming appointments and professional monitoring.
Bottom line, vaginas aren’t cheap and take up a lot of time. Which is why I only focus on the essentials when it comes to mine: the occasional clippy-clip, cotton undies, and condoms one hundred percent of the time, no matter how long I’ve been with a guy. No foreign bacteria. My vagina must be content at all times, and we must be in harmony. No one gets between us.
Yes, I mean that figuratively because, clearly, I’ve had sex, and that requires…never mind.
“Blah.” She makes a sour face. “I’ve seen your pussy. It looks like an orange tumbleweed in a bad Western. So not my thing.”
“Holy shit, girl. Did you just bush-shame me?”
She nods with puckered lips, attempting not to crack up. “Yes. I did. No one should have a bush that big.”
“Oh, I’ll have you know that the bush is back. Men like to know they’re with a woman, not a Barbie doll.”
Sofie whips the towel off her body, exposing her full nakedness, including her hairless cooter. “Does this look like a nipple-less, crotchless piece of plastic?” She points to a rash on her inner thigh. “Just check out this stubble burn Romeo gave me. Barbies don’t have those.”
“Ohmygod!” I turn my head. “Put that shit away, you damned nudist sex fiend!”
She laughs. “Yeah, that’s right, Mila. Never go up against me in the one-up-womanship game. Sofie always wins.”
“Fuck off.” I laugh. “And go put some cream on your Barbie pussy. You’re so gross.”