Total pages in book: 160
Estimated words: 153268 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 766(@200wpm)___ 613(@250wpm)___ 511(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 153268 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 766(@200wpm)___ 613(@250wpm)___ 511(@300wpm)
“We still have time to discuss this.” I tried to sound chirpy and bright, patting his thigh awkwardly. “Why don’t we—”
“Don’t do this,” he cut me off.
“Don’t do what?”
“Don’t run away from us. I’m telling you something important. I’m in love with you.”
My stomach dipped like I had fallen off a cliff. And then I just kept on falling because the implications of that statement were going to be my ruin. “Again?”
“Still,” he said bitterly. “Forever and always. I never stopped, and I’m tired of trying to hate you. To look for flaws instead of enjoying all the good parts. You bewitched me, and if I can’t have all of you, I don’t want scraps. I’m not half-assing what we are.” He took a quick breath. “My heart has two rooms, and you occupy both.”
I just stared at him, tucked under his big arm. What could I say to that?
He was…Row. Gorgeous and successful and grumpy and perfect. I was a novelty. He liked that I made him laugh. That he had my legs and mouth on speed dial. But the fascination with me would wear off as soon as we’d get serious.
If I could even get serious with a man without screwing it up.
Even if Row did love me, my trust issues would never let me be happy with him. After being chased to my almost-death by schoolmates, with nearly two decades of being heavily bullied under my belt, I wasn’t so hot on the human race. Yes, Row was a part of the very narrow exception, but could I put my entire trust and hope in someone?
Bet all my chips on this one person?
Putting my heart on the line terrified me, and even though there was a part of me that was elated, there was another bigger part that told me to run for the hills.
“What are you asking?” I raked my fingers through my hair, realizing they were shaking.
“I’m asking you to fall in love with me.” His eyes didn’t drop from mine, clinging to my face, searching, pleading. “Please.”
I almost smiled. I knew how hard it was for him to use this word. “What if you don’t catch me?” I worried my lip.
“I will.”
“How do you know?”
“My arms have been wide-open and waiting for years.” He stretched his muscular arms, with the needles poking out of the veins, for emphasis.
I dropped my elbows to my knees and held my face in my hands, trying to breathe through what was fast becoming a panic attack.
“This is the part where you say something.” Row gave me a blank stare. “No pressure or anything.”
There were so many things running through my head.
I want you, but I’m scared to death.
This is too soon, too fast.
But I had to say something, so I said, “I need more time.”
He inclined his head. “I’m afraid this chef is out of that particular ingredient. Your answer determines whether I shit all over my Blackthorn deal and piss off the man who is holding the purse strings to my new restaurant, or if I push through and sign this contract.”
“You’re thinking of staying?” My eyes widened.
He nodded solemnly.
“But, Row…you hate this town.”
“Yes, but I love you.” He licked his lips. “Plus, I can always open something in New York. Probably not immediately, since I’ll be fucking radioactive to investors and don’t have that kind of capital on hand…” He sucked his teeth.
The thought of Row dropping everything, staying behind, here, in Staindrop, made my skin crawl. I would never forgive myself if I knew I’d held him back. But I also wasn’t crazy about the idea of him putting me in this situation. He knew I always aimed to please. Having the opportunity to appease the entire town I grew up in was definitely temptation. But maybe I had grown a spine after all. Because no matter how happy I knew it would make other people, I couldn’t do this to Row and myself.
“Youshouldn’tchangeyourplansforme,” I said in one breath, the words ripping from my mouth like a Band-Aid. I untangled from him, landing on the floor with an awkward thump. “Don’t. Don’t give up on everything worthwhile for me. I’ll only disappoint you.” I stood up in a rush, panicking, blinking, ready to bolt. “Please go. Live your life. The pressure of disappointing you will eat at me, and I’ll end up messing it up. I’m not ready.” Pause. “We can’t be together, Row.”
Our eyes met. I forced myself to stay. To look the damage I’d caused in the eye. I had to stand there and see the disappointment on his face. The expression of a man ripped to shreds.
It was in this moment that Sheriff Menchin decided to saunter into the room, accompanied by another cop. “Casablancas.” He tucked his phone into his pocket.
“Village idiot,” Row drawled, ripping his gaze from my face. “Long time no see.”