Total pages in book: 132
Estimated words: 125465 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 627(@200wpm)___ 502(@250wpm)___ 418(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 125465 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 627(@200wpm)___ 502(@250wpm)___ 418(@300wpm)
I’m not doing a great job of it so far.
The noise outside the bedroom eventually fades to silence. Shit. What’s going to happen now? Only when the bedframe starts trembling do I realize I’m shaking.
What’s he going to do?
How can I convince him to stop?
His feet fall heavy on the floor, the sound getting louder the closer he comes. I press my lips together, turning a whimper into a tight squeak. My chin quivers before tears begin rolling down my cheeks, soaking into my already damp hair.
This is Ren. Why am I crying like this over Ren?
Because I have no idea what he’s capable of. I can’t believe I’m having these thoughts about him.
I flinch, creeping closer to the wall when he enters the room. His cold expression and the lack of light behind his eyes make my body freeze stiff; my heart wedged in my throat. When he reaches for me, I close my eyes tight, bracing for what comes next.
Please, don’t hurt me. Remember, you love me.
Only once he loosens the knot holding me in place am I able to exhale, though his brusque, efficient manner doesn’t give me much hope. It’s like he’s completing a chore he’d rather not be assigned and wants to get it over with quickly. If I didn’t know better, I’d think he would rather leave me this way.
Without a word, he leaves the room again, taking the rope with him. The heavy footfall is the only sound ringing out in the otherwise eerily silent cabin. The sort of silence that can weigh heavy on a girl’s heart. My heart is a lead weight by the time I sit up, stretching my shoulders and arms, then rubbing my sore wrists.
I guess I expected an apology or at least an explanation. I doubt any explanation would make things better. He could at least try. He might need to calm himself further—if that’s the case, he can take all the time he needs.
I’ll wait for the pins and needles sensation in my arms and shoulders to ease in the meantime. I have to grit my teeth to get through it without making a sound. I’m that afraid to upset him.
The old me, before he disappeared from my life, would never believe it. Being afraid to make even the tiniest sound around Ren, of all people.
Then there’s been a lot about this experience I find difficult to believe.
I don’t know how much time passes, each minute dragging out until the tension is enough to tear my heart to pieces. There’s no way of knowing what he expects, whether I should leave the room or stay put. I’m afraid no matter what choice I make, it’ll be the wrong one.
His sudden appearance in the doorway leaves me flinching like a hand-shy dog. He notices, too, his features pinching in concern. “What’s wrong?”
At first, all I can do is blink, certain I must’ve misheard. The concern is still there, now tinged with confusion. He’s confused?
He is, and he’s waiting for an answer. I don’t know what he expects after what he did. How cruel he was.
That cruelty is gone now, replaced by the sweetness of the Ren I believed I knew. Whose secrets run deeper than I could’ve possibly imagined.
“Nothing’s wrong.” I even force a tight smile rather than risk setting him off again. “Resting. That’s all.”
I absentmindedly rub a sore spot on my wrist, drawing his gaze toward it.
“I did put you through it, didn’t I?” The playful tone in his voice and the twinkle in his eye tells me he’s referring to the vibrator and everything else surrounding it. If it wasn’t for the dull ache between my thighs, I might have forgotten all about it in the face of his sudden change in demeanor.
“You did.”
He chuckles on his way to the bed, where he sits before placing a hand on my leg. “I’ll take it easier on you next time. Maybe.”
I hope he does, even if it’s clear we’re talking about two different things.
There’s no understanding these mood swings and how he goes from hot to cold and back again. If I had my phone, I would research bipolar disorder right now. That’s the only explanation I can come up with at the moment. Or maybe it’s a bad habit he’s gotten into over time. Could he be unaware of the way he acts? Maybe he has been alone too long. Being this isolated must have had a bad effect on him.
And I’m afraid to point it out, still stinging from the punishment he doled out.
All I can do is cover his hand with mine and wish I understood anything about the person I once believed I knew better than anybody else.
18
REN
The baby is crying.
No, wailing.
The baby is wailing, and the sound hurts my ears. I hear the fear in those cries, and I want more than anything to make it stop. To take the fear away. Just like all the other times when I’d pick them up and wrap the blanket tight, and we’d sit in the closet together until everything went quiet again. It isn’t easy reaching over the crib railing, but I’m getting better at it.