Total pages in book: 132
Estimated words: 125465 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 627(@200wpm)___ 502(@250wpm)___ 418(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 125465 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 627(@200wpm)___ 502(@250wpm)___ 418(@300wpm)
I’ve never needed her more than I do now. Not just her, either. All of them. My family. I need them, and I have no idea how to reach them.
No more than I know how to reach the man beside me.
“Do whatever you have to do,” I whisper, trembling, sick to my stomach, and wishing like hell I had stayed put the way he told me to. “Just promise you won’t take it out on me afterward.”
I can barely hear his snort. “I never make promises I’m not sure I’ll be able to keep.”
My god. What happened to him?
Who has he become?
“Where do you think you’re going?”
The question makes me stop short halfway across the living room on my way to the bedroom. If this were any other time, and if I wasn't so heartsick, I might get sarcastic. Where does it look like I'm going?
I know better.
Instead, I wave an arm toward the kitchen. “I put everything away. Now I'm going to bed. It's too late to eat.” And I couldn't swallow a bite with this lump in my throat, anyway.
“Who said it was time for bed?”
Fear skitters down my spine as he takes one step toward me, then another. He didn't help with the groceries when we got back, instead pacing around outside the kitchen window, muttering into his phone. Talking to River, no doubt.
The conversation did nothing to change his attitude. If anything, he’s worse than before.
I back away from him until I hit the wall near the bedroom door. “Sorry. Are you hungry? I can fix you something to eat.”
“I am hungry.” He says it with a smile, grim and knowing. “But not for canned soup.”
Never, ever in my life did I think a time would come when Ren would look at me the way he is now—hungry, needy—and I would do anything but melt and fall into his arms. I mean, this is all I ever wanted. For him to want me back. For us to be open and honest about our feelings instead of having to hide them from the rest of the world.
But for fuck's sake, he hasn't even showered. There’s still dried blood on his knuckles and under his nails. Nothing like what I saw in the woods, but too much of a reminder for me to be in the mood now.
My mouth is so dry I can barely speak. “What do you want?”
“You're telling me you don't know?” He stops a few feet away from me, cupping his obvious erection with one hand. “I want you to get on your knees and put this in your mouth. You’re going to suck me off.”
“I don't know...” I hedge, biting my lip. “I'm really exhausted. Maybe not tonight.”
His head snaps back almost like I hit him. He's that stunned. “Are you serious?”
“Yes,” I whisper.
“Who told you there was a choice?”
No, this isn't happening. He is not doing this. It was one thing to tie me up and drive me crazy with that bullet since I didn't exactly ask for that, either.
But this is different. At least when he did that, he had my pleasure in mind, even if it wasn't my idea.
This is completely about him taking what he wants without regard for me. And he still sounds like he hates me. None of this is right.
“Because you know…” I shrink against the wall when he comes closer again, his heavy boots slapping the floor. “I could make you do what I want.”
“But you wouldn’t do that.” It’s the hardest thing I’ve had to do yet, looking him in the eye when what I want is to run away. “You wouldn’t hurt me like that. You wouldn’t force me to do it if I don’t have it in me right now.”
I don’t know who I’m trying to convince. I’m not sure I believe what I’m saying anymore. Tonight, he’s shown me he’s capable of anything.
His eyes narrow into slits, and for one horrible moment, I know this is it. He’s going to force me, and he’s going to like it. My breath hitches, but I fight back the tears, silently daring him to make his move.
His shoulders lower, and he drops his hand from his bulge. “Fine. Go to bed, then,” he growls. “I have shit to do, anyway.”
I don’t wait around to see whether he means it. I slide along the wall and duck into the bedroom before closing the door. I actually close the door between us for the first time. I don’t want him in here while he’s in this mood.
Now the tears fall, hot and painful, while I fumble through getting into my nightgown and crawling into bed. My heart’s breaking by the time I curl up close to the wall, shuddering as I silence one sob after another with the pillow pressed to my face so he won’t hear.