Total pages in book: 100
Estimated words: 94513 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 473(@200wpm)___ 378(@250wpm)___ 315(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 94513 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 473(@200wpm)___ 378(@250wpm)___ 315(@300wpm)
Jesus.
I ran my hand over my face. “Dammit, Crosby, I’m sorry. I know that doesn’t make it better, but I don’t know what else to say to you, little brother. I can’t help it. I can’t! And, GOD, I wanted to make it stop. I hated myself for not being able to ignore her. I fucking loathed myself for wanting her so damn bad. Every day, it just gets more intense. I’m losing my shit. My damn sanity is snapping.”
I dropped my head into my hands and let out a ragged sigh. I was talking to a grave as if it could respond.
“To add to my sins, she’s too young. She’s vulnerable. And so fucking broken, but not damaged. She should be. The shit life she’s had … it would have destroyed other people. But not her. She smiles and laughs. She tries so hard. She’s determined to please.
“Fuck,” I groaned. “She’s under my skin, brother.”
I stood up. “I don’t know what to do,” I said. “She was yours. That baby is yours. You lost your life because of them. And I wanted to fucking despise her for it. Hell, I did. I loathed her existence. Until I was around her. Watched her. Got to know her. I can’t fucking hate her anymore. You were killed because you had fallen in love with a girl that any man would fall in love with once he got to know her. She’s worth loving. She’s … impossible not to love.”
I closed my eyes tightly and inhaled as the stabbing pain of betrayal pierced my chest. “I love her, Crosby. I have fallen in love with your girl.”
The silence of the night was my response. I was in a cemetery, talking to myself. Baring my soul to my brother’s grave. It wasn’t like I could admit this to anyone else. But I had to tell someone.
“GODDAMMIT!” I shouted, turning to slam my fist into the tree trunk behind me.
I stood there, breathing hard, trying to get a handle on my rage.
“When we lost you, all I could think was how it should have been me to go. I wanted more than anything to take your place.” I looked back at the grave. “And now, I’d walk into hell and give the Devil my soul if I could bring you back for her. But I can’t. It doesn’t fucking work that way. I will never be you. I can’t take your place. But I want her. I just wish there were a way for you to tell me if that was okay. To let me know that you want me to be the one to take care of her. To love her. To love your son.”
I reached up and wiped at the tears on my face that I hadn’t known were there. Reaching into my pocket, I took out the ultrasound picture of my brother’s son and placed it on the cold marble. I covered it with the thick-cut piece of glass I had brought with me.
“He looks like you. Already too damn pretty for his own good,” I told him, then stood back up.
With one last glance, I started back toward the car.
The burner phone I’d taken with me so that Linc could get in touch with me rang in my pocket. Stopping, I pulled it out.
“Yeah?” I said, my voice hoarse.
“You need to get back,” Linc informed me.
I wasn’t ready. Especially right now.
“Why?” I asked.
“Because Than just called me, panicked. They can’t find Halo.”
Dread slammed into my chest as I began stalking toward my truck. “What do you mean, Linc? Where was she?”
“Swimming in the pool. They were watching a game. Than went to check on her when she hadn’t come in yet, and she was gone.”
“DID THEY NOT CHECK THE GODDAMN PROPERTY?!” I roared, jerking my truck door open.
“Easy.” The threat in his tone didn’t faze me.
“She couldn’t have gotten out of the gate. What about security cameras?” I asked through the tight grip of fear squeezing my throat.
“She walked to the side of the house. Then, she went out of view.”
“I’m on my way,” I snarled, then threw the phone into the seat beside me.
Backing out of the parking lot, I glanced back at my brother’s grave. The guilt eating me alive had been consumed by fear. If she had walked out into the dark and gotten lost … she could be hurt. She was alone. I’d left her there. No one else could take care of her like me.
I didn’t stop at the house as I drove by it. I turned my headlights on low as I headed to the path that went back to the rest of the property until it stopped outside the woods. Than’s Range Rover was there.
Climbing out, I slammed the door and started stalking into the woods. Ransom called my name, and I turned to the left to see him coming out of the thickest wooded area.