Total pages in book: 100
Estimated words: 94513 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 473(@200wpm)___ 378(@250wpm)___ 315(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 94513 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 473(@200wpm)___ 378(@250wpm)___ 315(@300wpm)
I wanted a shower, but I was sure there were no towels or soap left. She’d been thorough in what all she took. I missed Carina’s bubbly voice telling me about her day. I missed the sound of Alvin and Dennis arguing over what they were going to watch on the television next. I even missed Iris yelling at them to shut up. Dropping my head into my hands, I finally let the tears fall.
Would I have caught them before they left if I’d not spent that extra hour after work waiting on Crosby again? It was pathetic at this point, and I knew it. I had to stop, but if he didn’t come to the fairgrounds, I had no other way to contact him. Although it had been two months since he’d said he’d meet me after work and never shown up. I texted him from Carina’s phone when I got back home that night, but he still hadn’t responded when I woke up the next morning. I always deleted the things I’d texted him, not wanting Carina to see it, and he rarely texted back if it wasn’t an immediate response because he knew it wasn’t my phone. But the times he couldn’t text back right away, he would come find me at work. I thought he would show up eventually with an apology and explanation. Maybe he had panicked and needed time to let it all sink in, but he’d had plenty of time to do that now, and still, no word.
He had told me not to worry, that he loved me, when I last talked to him. I was so scared, but I’d believed him.
He had walked into my life and charmed me. I’d never been one to fall for a guy’s good looks and pickup lines. In school, Ares had made guys nervous and kept them from approaching me, but I’d been okay with that. I never had time to date anyone. When I wasn’t working, Iris kept me busy in the afternoons with the younger kids, cleaning and often cooking dinner. Crosby was different. He made time to see me even though it was often late when I got off work. He waited.
For a moment in time, it was like I’d found my very own Prince Charming. But I had to face the brutal truth in front of me now. He had never introduced me to any of his friends. We had never gone anywhere together in public. Our dates had been limited to places that I thought were romantic, even after the time he came to pick me up after work and actually hid from someone he knew that he had seen in the parking lot. I’d been left standing there, alone and confused.
That experience should have been a wake-up call for me. He had spent the evening swearing he loved me. Telling me I didn’t understand. There were things he couldn’t tell me. He pleaded with me to trust him, and I finally relented.
I gave him my virginity in the back of his truck the first week I met him. That wasn’t like me. I’d not even let a boy touch my boobs before him. But Crosby managed to get me to do things I’d never imagined I would.
But I hadn’t given him my heart yet, and I guessed, for that, I could be thankful.
I lifted my head from my hands and sighed, then placed a hand on my stomach.
I had accused him of being ashamed of me, and he promised me that no one would ever be ashamed of me. He held my face and kissed me, telling me how beautiful I was. That he spent his days distracted, thinking about me. He made me feel special. For the first time in my life, I thought I meant something to someone.
When I told him my period was late, he gave me money to get a pregnancy test and assured me that if it was positive, he’d be there for me and the baby. He talked about us getting a place together, and although I wasn’t sure I was ready for that, I knew living at home might not be an option. When the test came back positive, I tried not to panic, but I got very little sleep. That next morning, I used Carina’s phone to call him. He said he would be waiting on me in the parking lot when I got off work. He promised he was going to take care of me and told me not to worry.
That had been two months ago.
Crosby never showed. Not that night or any night since. Before then, he had always been early and would tell me he couldn’t stay away any longer. He just needed to see me, even if it was to watch me work. His absence and silence were loud and clear. I was alone in this. All that excitement in his voice about living together had been a lie.