Total pages in book: 102
Estimated words: 98909 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 495(@200wpm)___ 396(@250wpm)___ 330(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 98909 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 495(@200wpm)___ 396(@250wpm)___ 330(@300wpm)
“Everything okay in here?” Luke’s face appears in the doorway. I’ve grown to look past that scowl he wears, but right now he looks extra grumpy.
“Well, Mr. President,” Annika says, “I would like to lodge a formal complaint about your roommate, here. It’s rude to tickle people that you outweigh.” She takes a better look at Luke’s expression. “Are we being too loud?”
He shrugs. “I’ve got work to do, but maybe I’ll just shut your door.”
“Actually, I’d better go, anyway,” Annika says, untangling herself from me. “We aren’t good study partners for this econ test because we both hate it. Do you have it this term, too?” she asks Luke.
He shakes his head. “Took it freshman year for funzies.”
“Ugh.” She shudders. “What else do you do for fun? Income taxes? Oral surgery?”
“Riiiight,” he says slowly. “Oral surgery. How’d you guess?”
I can’t help it. A smile takes over my face, and I bite the inside of my cheek to avoid laughing. When I glance at Luke, he’s got a tight lid on his own humor, of course. Nobody has a poker face like Luke Bailey. But I know him well enough to see the nanosecond of humor in his eyes.
“You’re a fun guy, Bailey. No matter what they say.” Annika shoves a bunch of cosmetics into her bag and hops off my bed. “You, too. Keaton. Thanks for the eggs Benedict.”
“Anytime!”
She blows me a kiss on her way out the door. The smile I give her is a little bigger than necessary, maybe. But if that’s the most petty thing I do all week, then I guess it isn’t too bad.
“Fun brunch?” Luke asks, still lurking in my doorway.
“Sure. Dad only made two cracks about maybe getting us back together. So there’s that.” I roll my eyes just thinking about it.
“Does she want to?” Luke asks, heaving himself across my bed, face down.
“Nope. She’s seeing someone new, and she’s obsessed with him. Her words.” I sit down on the edge of the bed, one hand on Luke’s back. “Why?”
He shrugs without turning to look at me.
“You’re jealous. Knowing you, it’s only a little. But you still won’t to say so.”
“I don’t have any reason to be jealous,” he says. “We’re not a couple.”
“But we are exclusive,” I point out. That was my one big demand. I don’t feel comfortable with the idea of him sleeping around, especially while I’m still wrapping my head around the fact that we’re sleeping with each other. And since Luke’s a fan of easy, convenient sex, he was fine with it.
“Yeah. We are.”
“So why wouldn’t you call us a couple?” I ask. “Isn’t that the definition?”
He rolls over, breaking contact with my hand. “Because what’s the point? Any second now you’ll get sick of this arrangement. And you’ll go back to dating people you can bring home to Daddy.”
“Because my father’s opinion is so fucking important to me,” I scoff.
“Oh, please.” He sits up. “It obviously is, or you would’ve already told him that you don’t plan to ever work for his company.”
“That’s just avoidance of the inevitable. Which is exactly what you’re doing. I think you’re really happy dating me, as long as you don’t have to call it what it is.”
“But why does it matter?” he asks me. He shifts his weight and frowns at something he finds in the pillows—it’s Annika’s eyeliner and mirror. He opens the mirror and inspects it. “What would change if we called it dating? It’s not like you really feel like letting anyone in on the secret.”
I bite down hard on my lip. Because he’s mostly right. Mostly. I don’t look forward to awkward conversations with my friends and teammates. And the idea of people making fun of me behind my back gives me the cold sweats.
On the other hand, acknowledging my sexuality is starting to feel inevitable. My attraction to Luke isn’t just a one-off thing. My attraction to men is here to stay and keeping that bottled up feels wrong now. It makes the secret feel enormous.
“Look,” I challenge. “You say you don’t lie about your sexuality. Why should I, then? Right now I lie all the time, and it’s a drag.” It makes the secret feel dark, when I need to feel okay about it, instead.
He just stares at me for a minute. “I can’t be president of this fraternity and also bang one of the brothers. Can you even imagine what people would say?”
“We have a gay brother already,” I point out. “And since when do you care about what people think of you?” He’s just dodging me because he thinks I’m needy.
“I don’t, but…” Luke scrubs his chin with his hand. “I’m not you. I’m not well-liked. The guys downstairs would say some seriously ugly shit if you stood up at a chapter meeting some night and said, ‘Oh, by the way, if you hear moaning on the third floor it’s because I’ve discovered I’m bisexual and now I’m Bailey’s new boy toy.’ Your buddy Judd would flip his shit.”