Total pages in book: 96
Estimated words: 94012 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 470(@200wpm)___ 376(@250wpm)___ 313(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 94012 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 470(@200wpm)___ 376(@250wpm)___ 313(@300wpm)
“No, but it’s a start. The goal is for you to get so sick of this speech that you know it like the back of your hand.”
“As well as I know the palm of my hand?”
She scrunched her nose. “I don’t get it.”
“It was a jerk-off joke.”
“Oh.” She laughed. “Okay. Well…we can be done for today. Unless you can think of anything else you haven’t touched?” She flashed an impish grin.
My fists tightened as I stopped myself from reaching over and kissing her senseless. Goddamn, I needed a breather. “I’ll catch you later,” I said as I got up from her bed and practically fled the room.
Downstairs, I found my mother sitting alone in the kitchen.
“Where is everybody?” I asked.
She turned to me and smiled. “They went to the Summer Lights festival.”
“You didn’t want to go?”
“I wasn’t feeling up to it.” She stood and headed toward the living room. “Come sit with me.”
My stomach sank. “What’s going on?”
“I had a rough day.” She sighed. “I forgot a lot of stuff that happened yesterday, and your dad got frustrated with me. That’s why I told him to get out of the house.”
I reached for her hand. “It’s not your fault, Mom.”
“Have I forgotten a lot when it comes to you this summer, too, and not realized it?”
I didn’t want to depress her by admitting how much I’d noticed. “Not the important stuff.”
That was the truth. Most of her slip-ups were minor things, with the exception of the time she hadn’t seemed to remember Noelle.
“I haven’t had a lot of time alone with you,” she said.
Guilt crept in. That was my fault. “I know. Dad’s always around, so I tend to avoid you because of that. It’s not because of you. Anytime you need me, you know I’m here.”
“I want to say some stuff to you while my mind is clear, okay?”
My throat felt tight. “Okay…”
She turned to face me. “There are some things you need to know,” she said. “And I’m not sure I’ll get many other opportunities this summer to address what’s going on. Because, like you said, he’s always around.”
“Talk to me, Mom.”
She came right out with it. “Your dad is having an affair.”
It nearly broke my heart to have to confess. “I know.”
Her mouth fell open. “How?”
I couldn’t lie to her. “He was in the shower one day while I was home over Christmas break. I jumped in to use the bathroom and saw a message pop up on his phone. I realized he was getting ready to leave and go see her, even though he’d told you another story. So…I followed him.”
My mother’s eyes watered. “You saw her?”
I’d never wanted to physically harm my father until this moment, when I saw tears in my mother’s eyes. It made me want to go upstairs and rewrite that entire speech, focusing only on the fact that he was a lying, cheating bastard.
“I’m sorry, Mom. I should’ve told you. But I didn’t know how.” I fought my own tears. My voice shook. “I don’t know why he’s doing this.”
“It’s okay. It’s not your responsibility to know.”
“It’s just…you’re going through so much already. I didn’t want to hurt you more by telling you he was cheating.”
“Please don’t feel guilty.” She sighed. “Look… I don’t know how much longer I’m going to be able to have these kinds of conversations with you. So I need you to listen to me.”
I reached for her hand. “You have all of my attention.”
“You don’t need to do anything to please him. You’re perfect just the way you are, and whatever you decide to do with your life will be right if it makes you happy. You owe him nothing.”
I drew my brows in. “Are you saying you don’t think I should go to law school?”
“I am saying you should go to law school if that’s what you really want, but otherwise it’s not too late to change your mind.”
“He’ll make my life miserable, Mom.” I didn’t add that if something happened to her, he’d be all that I had. That was part of my fear of disappointing him.
“He would make you miserable for a while,” she said. “But there’s no life more miserable than living out someone else’s dream and not your own.” Mom squeezed my hand. “Just know that I will be proud of you no matter what you decide.”
I placed my hand over hers. “That means a lot. Thank you.”
“Maybe you should out him for his behavior at that award ceremony.”
My eyes went wide. I freaking loved that she’d suggested that. “Should I?”
“No.” She smiled. “But that would be something, wouldn’t it?”
I shook my head. “I’m dreading that stupid speech. If it weren’t for Noelle, I don’t know if it would be happening.”
“Why? What’s Noelle doing?”
I’d told Mom about my idiot lessons with Noelle, but she didn’t remember. “She’s working with me on my fear of public speaking and helping me write the damn thing.”