Total pages in book: 96
Estimated words: 94012 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 470(@200wpm)___ 376(@250wpm)___ 313(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 94012 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 470(@200wpm)___ 376(@250wpm)___ 313(@300wpm)
My heartbeat accelerated as I swallowed hard. “What does that mean?”
“It means we see where things go, but we have to set some ground rules.”
“Like…”
“Anything sexual that might happen between us ends after this summer. Sex complicates shit. I don’t want to lose you as a friend just because we…experimented a little. It has to be over when we go back to school.”
I nodded. “That makes sense.” That makes no sense. But I’m going with it.
“Also…” He pointed in the direction James had gone. “You don’t mess around with that dude over there or anyone else as long as we’re experimenting.”
“You’re making me sound like a science project, Archie.”
“I’m trying to be more dignified than calling it hooking up.”
“Okay. Understood.” I licked my lips. “What else?”
“I guess I have to understand what I’m dealing with. So I need to ask you some questions.”
Trying not to let my excitement show, I straightened my posture. “Okay.”
“I need you to be completely honest with me.”
“Alright.”
“You’ve kissed guys, I assume, but what else have you done?”
I wracked my brain, although there wasn’t a whole lot to remember. “My high school boyfriend felt me up and down.”
“So you’ve been fingered.”
“Yes.”
“No one’s ever gone down on you?”
A shiver traced my spine. “No.”
“Okay.” He let out a shaky breath. “Have you ever given head?”
“Never.”
“Given a hand job?”
I’d forgotten that. “Yes.”
“So, just those three things?”
“Yes. That’s what I’ve done. But that’s it.” Bracing for his answer, I asked, “Is it worse than you thought?”
He scratched his chin. “I didn’t know what to expect, but you’re definitely inexperienced.”
“Does watching porn count?”
“Not really. No.”
“Well, I’m well-versed in all types of porn. I’ve watched a lot of weird shit—like bookookie. So nothing will surprise me.”
He cackled. “Bukakke?”
“Yeah. Whatever. I’ve seen it.”
“Watching something and doing it are two different things, Noelle.”
“Maybe.”
“Look at me and promise something,” he said. “Promise me that if we do this, it’s not gonna change our friendship. That’s a dealbreaker for me.”
There was no way crossing this line wouldn’t change our friendship forever. We were kidding ourselves if we believed otherwise. But I’d do almost anything to experience more with him. Even if it meant lying. Even if I knew it would change things. I only hoped it wouldn’t destroy us. “I promise.”
He nodded hesitantly, looking about as secure in this as I felt. “Okay. I think we’ve had enough discussion on the matter for tonight.”
“What’s the next step?” I asked, once again trying not to seem too eager.
“I haven’t figured it out. I’m not rushing into anything, though. I guess we’ll know when the moment feels right. I have to take things slow with you because I kind of feel like your eyes are bigger than your mouth here.” He chuckled. “You might think you want certain things but not really know what you’re in for. I won’t try anything unless I’m a hundred percent sure you’re ready.”
“Makes sense,” I said, though he was wrong. My mouth definitely felt ready. Every part of my body felt ready for him.
“Go back to James if you want,” he said. “But don’t let him touch you.” He leaned in. “And let me know when you’re ready to go home. I’m walking you, not him.”
His words, and the way he said them, gave me chills. Even if it was just all part of the “experiment” to come, I loved that he was acting jealous and possessive right now. It was a huge turn on.
I returned to the spot next to James. He didn’t mention taking a walk again, which was just as well. As he and I chatted, I couldn’t stop looking over at Archie: his handsome face, his large hands, his big, strong muscles. He was all I could think about.
Later, when Archie walked me home, we didn’t talk about what we’d discussed. I prayed he didn’t come to his senses and change his mind about it.
Once we started, I wouldn’t be able to keep my feelings in check. But if I let him know I couldn’t compartmentalize, he’d never go for it. So I vowed to put on my acting hat and make believe. I had to pretend what he was offering was just about the experience, nothing more.
As I headed upstairs to my room that night, a mix of excitement and nervousness like I’d never felt before coursed through me.
• • •
The following morning was business as usual. I dragged my ass out of bed to find Archie already waiting for me outside at ten past 6 AM.
“You’re late,” he scolded.
“Sorry.”
We took off down the road, an unspoken tension in the air. Archie wasn’t making eye contact, seeming preoccupied. I didn’t bother asking what was on his mind, because I knew: he was probably thinking better of everything.
When we returned to the house, his parents’ car was gone, which was unusual for this time of the morning.