Total pages in book: 139
Estimated words: 129268 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 646(@200wpm)___ 517(@250wpm)___ 431(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 129268 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 646(@200wpm)___ 517(@250wpm)___ 431(@300wpm)
She shakes her head, but doesn’t break eye contact. “I’m not okay.”
“Okay.” Kneeling in front of her, I gently place a hand on her leg. She jolts from the contact, but I keep rubbing back and forth, letting our mating bond soothe her. After a moment, she calms and I scoot closer to her. “Can you tell me what’s wrong?”
She swallows and her eyes dart left and right before she lowers her head. “Baby, just tell me.” Tears threaten to prick my eyes like a bitch as I realize I was too rough with her. “Did I hurt you?” She adamantly shakes her head and my brow furrows. “I don’t understand. Tell me what’s wrong.”
Her dark eyes finally find mine. “It reminded me.” Her gaze drops to the ground again as shame washes over me. “It—it reminded me.” She doesn’t have to finish. My hand falls as my world collapses, crumbling into an unrecognizable mess.
“It reminded you of—”
“Of why I started hunting wolves … after what one did to me.”
My breathing nearly stops as dizziness overtakes me. Our mating bond. Our claiming. The moment that was by far the most memorable experience of my life, reminded her of … her assault?
“You were raped?” I don’t know how I get the question out.
“Yes.”
My hands on her body brought up traumatic memories of her past. Overwhelming nausea hits me, but I suppress it. Stumbling back, I fall on my ass. She moves to her hands and knees and crawls over to place a hand on my back, telling me, “It’s okay.”
“No. It’s not.” How could I let this happen?
I attempt to cradle her, but she recoils. Shame and guilt overwhelm me. With the pull of the moon, my mind whirls. Barely able to focus.
“What did I do specifically?” I question, and again attempt to comfort her, but she scoots back, avoiding my touch. “I will never do it again.”
“I just can’t. I can’t be held down.” It takes me a moment to feel grounded enough. Did I hold her down? When did I hold her down? I can’t think, I can’t control the shaking.
“How?”
“It’s okay, Vince,” she whispers, not answering my question. It’s okay? None of this is okay. How could she say that?
My stern, hurt gaze finds hers as she tries to comfort me. She’s trying to comfort me?
“Why didn’t you tell me?” If only I’d known. I never would’ve held her down. I would’ve restrained myself.
“I thought you knew. That’s why I need … I have to be in control and it’s okay.” Her voice is soft and full of agony.
What the fuck? “That’s why?” A twisted sickness fills my chest. I thought it was a game. I thought she was just playing with me. I need to leave. I’ve failed my mate in so many ways. I need to think. I need to make this right.
“You should have told me that.” Anger swirls in my mind. I could have … if I had let the pull take over … the things I could have done … the damage that would have been done …
As I stalk into the woods clenching my fists and breathing hard, I barely hear my mate’s soft plea. “Don’t leave me.” The need to take her again vies for control. My wolf begs me to claim her again, to prove that she’s mine. To care for and to love, to have in every way.
I can’t control it. This need to take her again and the fear that comes with it that I’ll hurt her again presses down heavily, making me hate myself all the more.
My mate felt pain by being mine. I did that to her. Peeking up from where she sits, the red streaks on her face are evidence of that and I take another step backward.
“Vince, don’t you dare leave me,” she threatens and she doesn’t know what it does to me. Every instinct in me wants to unleash the needs of the claiming. To pin her down and—
Fuck! I can’t. I can’t hurt her again.
I would rather die than hurt her again.
I snarl as the tearing and cracking overtakes my limbs, morphing my human form into the beast taking over. She thinks I’d leave her? Anger consumes me. She’s everything to me. I would never leave her, never hurt her.
And yet I have. I just did. Because she withheld from me. Controlling me rather than confiding in me.
Her veiled threat echoes in my head. Don’t you dare leave me. Never in my life have I felt so lost and conflicted. My mind reels with the intensity of the moon seeping into my consciousness, wanting nothing more than to take Veronica.
I shake my head as my paws collide with the hard ground, hurling me forward through the brush. All I know is I need to be away from the moon, away from my mate, before I hurt her again. The cold air already has my lungs aching, struggling for breath. Good. I want to feel that pain. I push my limbs harder, wanting to feel the aching soreness throughout my body.