Total pages in book: 58
Estimated words: 54203 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 271(@200wpm)___ 217(@250wpm)___ 181(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 54203 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 271(@200wpm)___ 217(@250wpm)___ 181(@300wpm)
Pregnant? Pregnant! Really and truly! Even though I had a rush of anxiety as thousands of ideas popped into my head, the only one that stuck was the fact that I was adopted. Bringing a baby into my life would be difficult, but it wasn’t until then that I could fully understand what it meant to be filled with the fear of becoming a mother. What had my birth mother experienced? Was I destined to feel or even act the same? Not only that, but if I went forward with the pregnancy, I knew my work would have to change a little. I’d be dealing with daycare, diapers, bottles…
“Parvati, just breathe,” Jourdanne said to me as she took hold of my shoulders. I didn’t even realize I was hyperventilating until then. “You’re going to be just fine. It’s super early, so you have plenty of time to choose what’s best for you.”
“Choose?”
“Of course.” She sat at my side and kept rubbing my arm. “Right now, all you need to do is think about what you want from this situation. Are you ready for this? Are you happy?”
“Um… I think I’m in shock.”
She let out a soft giggle, but when our eyes met, she stilled herself completely. I must have looked completely mortified for her to be so on guard. “That’s totally understandable.”
I faced her quickly with a thought. “The guys. What on earth am I supposed to say to them? How will this work? Are they even going to care? Which one of them is the father…?”
She shook my hands in hers again. “Parvati. Remember, you have to think of yourself first. You’re the one who has to carry the baby, go through labor, be responsible.”
I drew in a sharp breath. Responsible wasn’t such a bad word for me. I could do that easily. What worried me was the idea of sharing the responsibility with three grown men who were always doing whatever they wanted. “How can I know if they’ll be reliable? If I’ll even want them in my life now?”
Jourdanne’s brows lifted. “Well, I think that’s something you’ll have to dig deep and discover for yourself. Only you can make that choice.”
“What would you do?”
“Me? Whew, I um…” Her eyes danced around the room for a moment. She ran a hand through her hair and then leaned back against the pillows. “If it were me, I’d want to involve them I think. They’re nice and giving, and they’d try. At least it sounds like it.”
“Right.” I nodded along at her words. It was simple after all.
“But if I were you, I would seriously be wanting them in my life just as much as the baby’s.”
“You would?”
“Yeah.” She sat up and drew a smile. “They’ve tried really hard to make you happy, even though they were competing for your attention most of the time.”
“True!” We shared a laugh.
Jourdanne leaned closer to me, bumping her shoulder into mine with a tender smile. “And you know, this baby might grow up falling totally in love with the idea of having three dads. She’ll love them all just like you loved yours.”
I didn’t know what to say to that. My eyes swelled for a split second, but I breathed through the imminent tears and gave Jourdanne a big hug instead. “You’re so right.”
She pulled back slowly and said, “How is this all making you feel right now?”
I drew a shuddered breath. “I guess, well… I’m totally freaking out!”
“Don’t,” she hushed me. “You said you’d thought about it, right?”
“Yeah, I mean, I have thought about kids, I just don’t know about the guys. Or what my mom will say. Oh my god, what is she going to say?”
“Hey, seriously, this is not about her. It’s about the love that created a beautiful baby.”
“Oh, but what if the baby isn’t beautiful?”
“Parvati!” Jourdanne clasped her hands over her mouth in a laugh. “You don’t really care about that!”
I shook my head, closing my eyes tight in embarrassment. “No!”
“You see. Just focus on one day at a time. I’ll be right here, like I said I’d be. Always.”
I gave her a nod. Then I glanced down at my belly and imagined for a moment what changes would take place in my life, and not just the ones with my career and financials. The ones that involved my body and hormones too. “Pregnant?” I mumbled.
“Little baby Rolsom.”
I let out a heavy breath. What on earth was I going to do now? The guys I fell in love with were all back to their own lives, and we had agreed no more relations. I almost couldn’t imagine telling them about the baby. “Yeah, we’ll give it some time.”
Jourdanne gave me a nod. “You take all the time you need.”
23
PARVATI
“Mom, I’m just not feeling well.”
“Oh, come on,” she whined on the other end of the call. “It’s been a month since we all saw each other. Don’t you want to get together again?”