Total pages in book: 111
Estimated words: 107453 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 537(@200wpm)___ 430(@250wpm)___ 358(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 107453 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 537(@200wpm)___ 430(@250wpm)___ 358(@300wpm)
Ledger’s sleepy morning grimace vanishes, replaced by a more thoughtful expression. “That sounds cool, man,” he says as he sits next to me on the couch.
“It really does,” I say since I want Ledger to know that I support this choice.
I want both guys to know I’d stand behind their careers rather than in front of them. But why am I trying to impress this upon them? I’m not their girlfriend. I am their friend, though, and I know what it’s like when someone doesn’t support you. I know the anxiety that produces.
Everyone goes quiet. This is where things get awkward. Do we part ways now, with Ledger and me staying behind to traipse around the city, shopping and eating fancy food? That feels all wrong.
But the guys won’t ask me to leave early. They’ll want to spoil me, even with one here and the other remote. Here is where my make-everything-better skills come in handy.
“I think we should leave, too,” I say before they can try to convince me to stay.
“What?” Dev asks, his brow pinching. “You guys don’t have to.”
But honestly, we do.
The more I stay with one of them, or both of them, the harder I’ll fall for these men. I set one hand on Ledger’s strong chest and the other on Dev’s.
“I came here with both of you. This isn’t how it should end, with one person leaving.”
Ledger’s expression is stoic, but his eyes flicker with sadness. There’s resignation and understanding too. “I agree,” he says, tone heavy.
Dev scoffs, tossing up his hands. “That’s ridiculous. Stay and have a good time.”
“It wouldn’t be the same.”
He rolls his eyes and then breathes out hard, like a horse at the track, insistent and ready to race. “There’s no reason you two shouldn’t have fun.”
“Dev,” I say, gentle but firm. “We did this trip together. The three of us work well together.”
Before he can protest again, his phone beeps for his attention. “My flight details,” he says after a glance.
Yes. Planes. Agendas. Like on the day we arrived, I need to focus on practicalities and book our flights back home instead.
A half hour later, we’re packed and getting ready to leave, the three of us now booked on the same flight back.
We won’t shop for a dress today.
We won’t go to a three-star restaurant tonight.
We won’t sleep together one more time.
We’ll leave and go our separate ways. I’ll return to my simple life of blowouts and balayage, and they’ll return to their star-studded lives filled with team jets, long workouts, tense games, and all the hardships and joys of professional sports.
As I head to the door, I replay the last six days on a loop. It’s not only about the sex we had. I learned a lot of things unintentionally: Saying what’s on my mind. Speaking up even if it means rocking the boat.
No time like the present to put that into action.
At the door, I stop, hand on the knob, then I turn to my travel companions. “I want to tell you something,” I say, my pulse racing.
Dev’s eyes flicker with excitement and maybe some hope. “Yeah?”
“What is it?” Ledger’s tone is more measured, but there’s a touch of excitement there too.
My throat tightens with rising emotions. I look into Ledger’s soulful blue eyes, which have seen years of change, then into Dev’s eager, bright green gaze. “This was a fun trip, but I learned a lot too. More than I expected. I learned to say what I’m feeling. Not to hide it,” I say, and it’s hard to speak the truth, but I have to do this.
“What is it?” Dev asks, as if he’s hanging onto my words.
Go for it, I pep-talk myself. “I’m tempted to ask you to meet up after training camp,” I begin, speaking from the heart.
Dev’s eyes spark with hope. “Yeah?”
Ledger’s flicker with possibility. “Yeah?”
I soldier on. “I want to keep doing this more than anything,” I say, and holy shit, I’m breaking all the rules of our tryst, the ones we set in the hot tub. “I know we said we had a start and end date. But part of me wants to say screw that.”
Dev lets out a big breath, then smiles. “Screw it.”
“Really fucking screw it,” Ledger echoes.
My heart rockets, wanting to fly into their hands. I want to dance with them, laugh with them, have fun with them. “I don’t want to hurt you,” I say.
Dev scoffs. “I get hurt every day.”
Ledger glances down at his knee like, C’mon.
“But I can’t risk that,” I say. “I have a lot to figure out, and I care about you guys too much to keep going while knowing I’m not ready. I won’t ask you to wait for me. I just want you to know.” I dig down deep and I do what I should have last week. I speak up. “This week has been…”