Total pages in book: 194
Estimated words: 183150 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 916(@200wpm)___ 733(@250wpm)___ 611(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 183150 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 916(@200wpm)___ 733(@250wpm)___ 611(@300wpm)
‘No!’ She looks at me all offended. ‘I like how much he clearly loves you.’
‘What? He doesn’t love me, Kate. He loves to fuck me.’ I take a long glug of wine to dull the affect that Kate’s statement’s had on me. Or is it the affect of my alternative statement? Clearly loves me, or clearly loves to control me?
‘Ava, again, you’re the master of denial.’
‘How old do you think he is?’ I ask.
Kate shrugs. ‘Mid-thirties, I’m going for a quick fag.’ She slips down from the stool, retrieving her cigarettes from her bag. ‘Wait here, we don’t want to lose the table.’
She makes her way to the smoking area, leaving me pondering my diabolical situation. I’m in love with the trampling, unreasonable control freak. I knew I should have stayed away from him. I can’t help but think that I could have easily rebuffed, denied and walked away from any other man. Jesse is another story entirely, though. I’m addicted to him, and I’m not sure it’s healthy.
‘Ava?’
I’m dragged from my brief thoughts by a very familiar voice. It’s also a most unwelcome voice. I swivel on my tight, silk clad butt.
‘Hi, Matt.’ I sound way more pleased to see him than I actually am.
‘Shit, Ava. You look great.’ He runs his smutty eyes up and down my body, making me feel highly uncomfortable and conspicuous. How does he make my skin crawl now? I loved him for four years. Or did I? What I felt for Matt seems to have paled into insignificance compared to how I’m feeling about a certain Mr Control Freak of an age that I still don’t know.
‘Thanks, how are you?’ I ask politely, taking in his shirt and black jeans. I hate those jeans, and the shirt looks cheap and nasty.
‘Really good, thanks. What have you been up to?’
Fucking. Lots of amazing fucking! ‘Not a lot. Working heaps, looking for a new place.’ I’m lying, of course. I’ve not even visited a letting agent. Matt doesn’t pick up on my hair being coiled around my finger. He never did pick up on my hair twiddling habit - a sign, maybe?
‘Is the job going well?’ He rests his elbows on the edge of the table, getting way too close to my personal space. My back straightens, pulling me away, and I pray for Kate’s quick return. He’ll soon scarper if Kate makes an appearance.
‘Yes, really good, thanks?’ I reply, while deliberating on asking him the same question. After he called and told me about the redundancies being made at his work place, I suppose I should, but I don’t want to get too tied up in conversation.
He smiles brightly – it’s false. ‘Great. Listen, I just wanted to apologise again. I was out of line. I wouldn’t blame you if you told me to fuck off.’
Fuck off! ‘It’s fine, Matt. Don’t worry about it.’
‘Cool.’
I inwardly vomit when James walks over to join us, looking at me with the contempt I feel for him. He can go and take a leap! I smile sweetly, repositioning myself on the stool with caution. This dress is ridiculous, and while I felt perfectly comfortable up until Matt found me, I now feel over exposed and vulnerable under the scrutinising glares of my ex and his friend.
‘James.’ I nod in acknowledgment to his presence.
‘Ava.’ he retorts. His cold tone doesn’t escape my notice. He must have told Matt about his encounter with me and a tall, blonde, aggressive type, so why is Matt being so pleasant?
‘Can I buy you a drink for old times’ sake?’ Matt offers.
‘No, honestly, I’m good.’ I hold up my half full glass of wine. For old times’ sake? What? Like a celebration of how much of a knob he was? Please!
I don’t see her, but I know she’s near. The sudden ice that emanates from Matt’s body is potent. James is no better. He and Kate didn’t exactly see eye to eye either.
‘What the fuck are you doing here?’ she shouts as she approaches.
My shoulders tense. ‘Kate, we’re fine.’ I placate my fiery, red headed friend.
‘I was just leaving.’ Matt hisses.
‘Fuck off then!’
He returns his eyes to me. ‘It was nice to see you, Ava.’
‘You too, Matt.’ I smile. What would be the point in being hostile? The bloke’s sorry – I think. Oh, whatever. He’s out of my life, and I can’t be doing with the drama. I laugh to myself. My life is one big dramatization at the moment.
Matt and James leave me in peace, until Kate lets loose. ‘What are you doing talking to that snake?’ she blurts across the table, as she lifts herself onto her stool.
‘He was just saying hello. He was being polite.’ My bored tone will probably irritate her more. She’s a firecracker!
‘I couldn’t give a shit!’
My face wrinkles. ‘You sound like Jesse.’ Lord, I don’t need a challenging best friend to match my challenging man. She huffs a little before swigging her wine. I join her, finishing off my own glass. ‘I’ll get another,’ I take some money from my clutch. ‘Watch my bag.’ I make my way to bar to order another round of drinks and wait patiently for the barman to get my order.