Total pages in book: 123
Estimated words: 114467 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 572(@200wpm)___ 458(@250wpm)___ 382(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 114467 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 572(@200wpm)___ 458(@250wpm)___ 382(@300wpm)
Chapter Twenty-Five
Viktor
The cold air hits me as soon as the door slams behind me. My hands burn like I’ve touched fire, and my lips tingle with the taste of her still on me. The sweet taste of perfection. That is the only way I could describe it. Perfect, pure, and not for me.
When I saw it was almost time for the countdown, I knew I had to leave. I knew the only one I wanted to kiss at midnight would be her. I wanted her in my arms any way I could get her. I hadn’t seen her in over a month, and I thought what I felt for her was all in my head and just a figment of my imagination. And then I finally saw her, and my heart stopped. It literally stopped beating, or maybe it finally started beating again. Fuck if I know.
I attended dinner parties I didn’t want to go to just to see her, but she never came. Not once. Then going home for Christmas was a disaster. I was an addict, it will forever follow me, especially with my father who made sure to mention it to me each time.
Tonight, I knew she would be there, and I knew I would see her, but I wasn’t expecting it to come crashing around me. I walk away from her and replay the scene over and over in my head. Face-to-face with her, our eyes locked. I don’t know if it was her or me, but either way, my hands were holding her face and my lips were on hers and everything that I told myself was a lie. I couldn’t just be her friend. I walk all the way home, the wind hitting my face making it cold as ice. But I fight the need to go back and see her.
I get home, the soft light from the salt lamp that Zara gave me fills the room. I slip my jacket off and toss it on the couch. I throw myself on the couch and run my hands through my hair.
I avoid everything and everyone the next day by just lying on the couch and flipping through channels while I read the guide to step eight. I only get up at around five to attend a meeting. I don’t say anything at this one, passing my turn and just listening to everyone else. The holidays are the hardest, I’m told. Walking back home, I make a list of everyone I’ve harmed when I was high, everyone who got harmed from me being high. The list isn’t long since I never spent time with anyone except the addicts around me. Too scared to start something and then for them to discover my big secret.
I have four names on the list, which isn’t a surprise. I put the pad down on the table and close my eyes. Tomorrow will be my biggest test because my old team is in town. That night, I dream of the old days, the days when I didn’t have to care, didn’t want to care.
When I walk into the arena, I try to keep my head down, but I hear my name being shouted as soon as I step onto the carpet. “Vik.” I would know that voice anywhere. I look up and see Kevin. “Look who it is,” he says, walking to me with a huge smile on his face. Kevin and I were brought to LA at the same time. Both rookies, we shared a room when we traveled. We shared an apartment. Fuck, we even shared women. But what we shared most of all were the drugs.
“Hey, yourself,” I tell him and shake his outstretched hand. “What’s up?”
“Not much. I was just chatting with Mika and Chris, and we were talking about the last time we were here.” He laughs out loud, and I just nod at him. “What are you doing after the game?”
“Not sure yet,” I tell him. “Probably nothing.”
“We have to catch up,” he says and then calls over to Mika and Chris. “Guys, look who it is.”
Mika comes to me first with a huge smile on his face. We played together for two years before I got traded. He was an occasional participant at some of the parties we went to, depending on the chick he was with, but more often than not, he was over at my place crashing on the couch. “There he is. I’ve been texting you.”
“I had to get a new number. I lost the old phone,” I lie. The first thing I did was change my number.
“Figured as much,” Mika says. “We getting together after? We can go grab a bite to eat.”
“Um, yeah,” I say, knowing I shouldn’t, knowing I should just shake my head and walk away.
“Cool,” Chris says. “The team isn’t the same without you,” he says. “But what can you do?”