Total pages in book: 123
Estimated words: 114467 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 572(@200wpm)___ 458(@250wpm)___ 382(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 114467 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 572(@200wpm)___ 458(@250wpm)___ 382(@300wpm)
He taps his glass in front of him, and when everyone quiets down, he stands up. “I guess I should say something since you all came out for me,” he starts the speech and then holds my shoulder beside him. “I can’t believe it’s already been three hundred and sixty-five days.” He shakes his head. “This morning when I got up, I looked over and saw the date on my phone, and for once, I thought, what took me so long?” He laughs nervously.
“Today, I remember walking into the rehab and listening to them tell me what was going to happen and thinking, I’m just going to do what they want me to do, make everyone happy, and get out of here.” He shrugs. “I made notes on how to hide it in the future. I was in rehab, and I wasn’t thinking of getting clean. I was thinking of ways to hide it.” He looks over at Jeffrey and Patrick.
“Crazy, right? But then one day led to another day, and I stopped making a list on how to hide it and started making a list on how to change things. How to change me. They say when you are starting in recovery not to make any big commitments.” He laughs. “Well, someone should have told them it wasn’t an ideal time to pack me up and move me out to a new city, to a new team, to the unknown.” He looks at Matthew, who just shakes his head.
“You’re welcome,” Matthew says, grabbing his glass of water and raising it to toast him.
“It was, in fact, a blessing, a new page, a new beginning. It was a slow process, and that is what made it harder. I expected to wake up every day and be like I don’t want that.” He takes a big deep breath. “That was the biggest challenge to want it and fight it. As the days turned into weeks, and the weeks turned into months, I carried on, making progress and gaining the one thing that I lost along the way—my self-respect.” I turn my head to kiss his hands that squeeze my shoulder as if he is gaining strength from me.
“Knowing I was worth it, knowing I was a good person. Knowing I am a good person. In one year, I got my life back. I mean, I got it back before, but in one year, I know I deserve it. Every single day will be a struggle, and I’ve come to terms with that. Some days will be easier than others, but no matter what, I will not use. Knowing that I now have the foundation to achieve it is everything. There are twelve steps to the program, and as of yesterday morning, I had completed them all except to share my inventory with another human.” I wipe away a tear and try not to look up at him. “I’m lucky to say that I found that human who took all my mistakes and looked past them. She took everything I did and accepted it, and then she turned and looked at me, and I saw that she still loved me.” I shake my head, and then Zara reaches over and holds my hand as I try to blink away the tears and fail miserably. “Zoe, you are by far better than any chip they can give me,” he says, and now I feel his hand move away from my shoulder, and he leans down. “I love you,” he whispers to me and kisses my lips, and everyone claps. “Thank you,” he says when he stands up again and then sits down.
“I love you,” I tell him, and just like that, everyone goes back to their own conversations.
Slowly but surely, people get up and leave, and then I look around at Mark, who comes up and shakes Evan’s hand. “Congrats,” he says, shaking his hand and his beard is so thick with this playoff superstition. “I’m going to head out,” he says, and Viktor shakes his hand and thanks him for coming.
He looks around, and then his eyes land on Vivienne. I look at him and then Vivienne again, who looks straight at him. He looks from us, then back to Vivienne. I don’t know what is going on right now, and when I look over at Zara, wondering if she just saw what I saw, she looks from Mark to Vivienne who is now talking to Karrie beside her. Mark shakes his head and walks over to her, and my eyes go back to Zara who just watches with her eyes wide. The only one who isn’t surprised by all this is Karrie, who tries to roll her lips together. “Are you done?” he says to Vivienne, and if anyone knows Vivienne, they know she is the one who runs the show in all aspects of everything basically.