Total pages in book: 143
Estimated words: 136743 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 684(@200wpm)___ 547(@250wpm)___ 456(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 136743 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 684(@200wpm)___ 547(@250wpm)___ 456(@300wpm)
“What do you mean?” Judah plucks a grape from the bowl and sips his orange juice.
“For Lupe, I think it was like the last straw. She’s the oldest, so she understands the most and had a lot less tolerance for her dad’s bullshit. Inez and Lottie had some hero worship left, though it was really damaged. Knowing he was cheating was bad enough, but having a baby with another woman?”
I tug on my bottom lip, the worry creeping in over how my girls are processing the latest revelations about their trifling father.
“Sol, there’s something I need to tell you,” Judah says, leaning forward.
The sudden solemnity of his voice, in his eyes, snares my full attention.
“What?” I ask, gripping the collar of my robe at my neck. “It’s about the girls?”
“No.” He holds out his arms. “Come here.”
I stand, my heart in my throat as I wait to know what put that look on his face. He pulls me down to his lap and sits back, releasing an extended exhalation. I lean into his chest, curling my legs under me on his knees, and tip my head back to study his face. “Just tell me.”
“Edward is gone.”
The news punches me in the chest, and shock paralyzes me for a second before a slew of questions flood my mind and spew from my mouth.
“Gone? What do you mean, gone? Gone where? How can he—”
“Left the country.” Judah angles a careful look at me from under straight, dark brows. “After you told me your suspicions there might be more money we hadn’t found, I dug some and did uncover another trail. I’ve been keeping very tight tabs on him. If he sneezed, I knew about it.”
“And he sneezed?”
“He didn’t check in with his probation officer, and he hasn’t been seen or heard from in over a week. I had some surveillance on Amber. She and the baby are gone too. Probably with whatever money we never found to some place that doesn’t have an extradition treaty with the US.”
For a moment rage, the kind that only Edward has ever inspired, falls over my eyes like a red haze, and I want to feel the weight of my machete, find something he holds dear to destroy. My breath labors and my face is awash with heat because this is one more mess he’s left for me to explain and navigate for the girls. One more trauma he’s thoughtlessly inflicted and then run off after to pursue his own interests and pleasure. But then another emotion intrudes, overtakes.
Relief.
I’m rid of him. Like venom sucked from a bite and spat out. If he truly won’t come back for fear of arrest, then maybe I’ll never have to see his lying face again. Tears spring to my eyes. That son of a bitch has made me cry so many times, but these are cleansing tears, cathartic tears. I bury my face in the soft cotton of Judah’s robe and let them flow, curling into him, holding on to him while he rubs my back and kisses my hair.
“I’m sorry,” he says, once I’m spent and lying against his chest with tear-wet cheeks. “I know this is a lot to process.”
I pull back to look at him, searching his face. “You know I’m happy he’s gone, right?”
He lets his head fall back to the soft cushion of the lounge chair. “I hoped you would be, but I know this is complicated, especially for the girls.”
“Did you tell CalPot about the new accounts you found?”
He hesitates, scraping his teeth over his bottom lip before shaking his head. “No.”
“Did you… confront Edward?” I ask, confused because it’s strange for Judah not to follow a trail to its resolution.
“No.”
“Why not? You could have—”
“I wanted him out of your life more than I wanted to catch him,” Judah says, his voice going curt, steely. “I wanted him out of your daughters’ lives. He’s not a good man and he never will be. The longer he’s around, the more he’ll fail them and make things harder for you.”
Fresh tears sting my eyes because I’m so grateful, not just for this one act he has done but for him. Nothing in my mother’s diaries, nothing I read in bell hooks’s musings, could have prepared me for this man. For this astonishment of care and joy and grace.
Our lives are complicated. I have a few more years before I’m an empty nester, and in some ways, Judah may never be. Aaron may live in alternate housing, or maybe in an apartment over Judah’s garage, depending on how much independence he wants and can handle. Adam may go off to college but is more likely to attend one really close to home. They may marry. May find life partners. Who knows how the boys’ paths, their lives will change throughout the years.