Total pages in book: 95
Estimated words: 89397 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 447(@200wpm)___ 358(@250wpm)___ 298(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 89397 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 447(@200wpm)___ 358(@250wpm)___ 298(@300wpm)
“You and Parker will just have to make do,” Mom had said with a shrug. “You were already getting too tall for those little beds anyway.”
We hadn’t minded. The queen was plenty big for our two tall but scrawny bodies.
But lately, it was getting harder for me to sleep tangled up in him without wanting to touch him that way. I already knew I liked guys, but I also knew that telling Parker I liked him like that could make things really weird between us.
I didn’t want that. I didn’t want anything screwing up what we already had together.
As for who Parker was attracted to, I had no clue. He wasn’t really into girls, and he wasn’t really into guys. The person he seemed happiest spending time with was me… well, except when he was getting ski lessons from my dad or Mr. Rokas, Erin’s dad, who coached the high school ski team. Maybe he was ski-sexual.
That thought was enough to make my boner quit. I walked back into the room laughing.
“What’s so funny?” Parker asked. I couldn’t see his face anymore since I’d turned off the bathroom light.
“I decided you’re ski-sexual.”
“What the fuck?” he asked. I could hear the grin on his face.
“Ski-sexual. I think you’re in love with skiing and want to marry it.”
I climbed back into bed but didn’t reach for him. My boner was gone but not forgotten. It wouldn’t take much for it to flare back to life.
Parker lay back and sighed. “If I could, I would. I love being out there. It’s peaceful and quiet but also exciting, you know?”
“Yeah.”
“What made you think about sex, though?” he asked. “Were you in there jacking off or something?”
I squeezed my eyes closed and wondered if this was the time to tell him I was gay. Parker wouldn’t care about that, but I didn’t know for sure if it would make him less likely to want to share a bed with me. Still… I couldn’t keep such a big secret from him anymore.
“No, but… I kinda wanted to.”
He turned over on his side and propped his head on his hand. “Why didn’t you? You can, you know. I don’t care.”
I leaned over and turned the side lamp on its dimmest setting. I needed to see his face when I told him.
“I’m gay,” I said.
He blinked and waited for me to say something else. When I didn’t, he tilted his head. “I… know? I mean… I guess I didn’t know if you liked girls and guys, but I know you like guys. I’m your best friend, Jules.”
I blew out a breath. “And… you’re okay with it?”
His face turned angry. “First of all, yes, of course I’m okay with it. But also? No one gets to not be okay with it. You don’t need anyone’s permission or approval to feel the way you do and like the things or guys you do. And if anyone gives you hell about it, I’ll punch them in the fucking face.”
I couldn’t hold back a big relieved grin. “You’re the best.”
He leaned over and hugged me. “You’re the best. No matter who you like. Just so long as you don’t ever like anyone more than me. You can have a boyfriend, but you can’t have another best friend. That job is mine. Forever. You just made a binding agreement.” He nodded at the notebook paper on my nightstand.
I could tell he was teasing, but I still liked being claimed in that way.
“What about you?” I asked, trying to be brave enough to find out if there’d ever be a chance I could date my best friend.
“What do you mean? Like, who do I like?” He moved back over onto his own pillow.
“Yeah.”
He screwed up his lips while he thought about it. “I think you’re right. I’m ski-sexual. When Erin and Hazel mentioned their group of friends getting tickets to that concert thing, all I could think about was whether or not your dad would take us to the slopes instead. Do you think he will? Mr. Rokas said I’m almost ready to try the moguls.”
The laugh that bubbled up was full of relief. I didn’t need him to like me like that, as long as he didn’t like anyone else that way either.
And he didn’t. For two more years, he continued to prefer my dad’s hand-me-down skis and soft, fresh powder to any kind of date with anyone of any gender, though most of the girls in our year and at least one guy had made a play for him.
But when we learned the homecoming committee had booked a popular local DJ sophomore year, I decided to finally ask Parker out. For real. As my date to the dance. I would tell him how I felt and ask him to give me a chance as more than best friends.