Total pages in book: 151
Estimated words: 139803 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 699(@200wpm)___ 559(@250wpm)___ 466(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 139803 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 699(@200wpm)___ 559(@250wpm)___ 466(@300wpm)
I scrunched my face up in confusion, looking at Dr. Gresham as if he had just lost his mind. He only continued to smile at me. “Um, why?” I finally asked when I realized he wasn’t going to elaborate.
“You’re learning your boundaries, Meghan, and you’re learning how to put them in place. Axel and Julian didn’t have to step in this morning to help you. You kept Vincent at arm’s length just like you wanted until you’re ready to cross that bridge and let him a little bit closer. A few weeks ago, you wouldn’t have been able to say no.”
Tears filled my eyes. A watery smile pulled at my lips. “You mean I’m getting better?” I asked.
“Not better, Meghan. You can never be ‘better’,” he said, putting air quotes around the word better. “I prefer not to use that term when it comes to anything dealing with mental health. But you’re getting stronger each and every day, Meghan, and that is something to be extremely proud of. You have come so far in such a little amount of time.”
I sobbed. “Sorry,” I choked out. I swiped at my cheeks. “I’m so fucking emotional these days.” Despite me trying to stop them, my tears kept spilling over. “I’m a bit overwhelmed. I’m so happy. Some days, I feel myself still struggling, but I’m doing it. It’s so hard, but I’m still getting better.”
“Yes, you are,” Dr. Gresham agreed. “Keep working on putting your boundaries in place, Meghan. Remember what we discussed about boundaries?”
I drew in a deep, shaky breath, trying to calm myself back down. “Learn to say no,” I answered. He smiled. “And I need to learn to say no without feeling the need to explain myself.”
“Good! What’s another boundary we’ve discussed?” he asked.
“Learn to focus on myself more than others.” I gave a sheepish smile as Julian snorted from over by crockpot. “I’m having a little bit of an issue with that one.”
“Alright. Let’s discuss it. Tell me what the issue is.”
“It has to do with Axel’s sister, Alli.” Dr. Gresham nodded to show me he was following. “I’m worried about the affect me being with her brother is having on her, and I’m really nervous about her coming to live here because I know Axel will put me above her.”
Dr. Gresham gave me a small, understanding smile. “There’s nothing wrong with Axel doing that. You are Axel’s present and future. His life now somewhat revolves around you as he is in a very serious, committed relationship with you. All of his loyalties no longer reside with his sister. But do not fret, Meghan. I’ve been working with Alli, trying to get her adjusted to not having her brother and his friends around to rely on all of the time.” He pointed a finger at me through the screen. “Focus on yourself, Meghan. It’s extremely important. Worrying too much about other people will raise your anxiety levels, and that’s one of the last things you need.”
I blew out a harsh breath. “I’m working on it.”
“Good. We’ll revisit that topic next week. Now, tell me another boundary.”
“I need to make sure I take time for myself when I’m with Axel and Julian,” I repeated.
“And how are you doing that?” Dr. Gresham asked me.
I smiled. “Painting.” My mind flickered to the one I had been working on before Vincent came and flipped my life upside down. “My paintings are becoming lighter.”
Dr. Gresham smiled. “Tell me about them.”
“My latest one—the wings on my back are completely white with tinges of blue and brown throughout them. I’m smiling. There are tears running down my cheeks, but I’m smiling in the face of all of my pain. My rose bush—the one at the center—it’s bloomed and filled with roses, so many of them. Everything around me is beautiful and green. Julian and Axel are sitting off to the side, watching me as they hold our little boy, and they’re both extremely proud of me. I made it visible on their faces.”
Dr. Gresham grinned. “You should see if you can get your paintings into a gallery, Meghan.”
I shook my head, red staining my cheeks. “They’re not that good. It would be a waste of time.”
“Your paintings are beautiful. You have a true gift, and it’s a beautiful one. Just give it a try.”
I sighed but nodded, knowing I wasn’t going to follow through. Dr. Gresham looked at his watch with a sigh. “I have to go,” he told me. “Hang in there and remember to work on your boundaries. I’ll talk to you again on Thursday.”
I closed the laptop and looked over at Julian. He grinned at me. “Proud of you, baby girl.”
I returned his smile. “I thought I never could do it, but I did, Julian.” Tears welled in my eyes. “I’m going to be okay.”