Total pages in book: 65
Estimated words: 61767 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 309(@200wpm)___ 247(@250wpm)___ 206(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 61767 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 309(@200wpm)___ 247(@250wpm)___ 206(@300wpm)
“Ivy told me about your scars.”
My shoulders tense, and I suck in a muted breath, hoping he can’t see my despair in the reflection of the window. I told myself I wasn’t going to fall apart, but I didn’t prepare for this. It has long been a De La Rosa tradition that we bear our shame in secret. For Santi to even mention this has knocked me off balance, and I’m not sure I can bring myself to speak.
“I wish you had told me.” He shakes his head. “I would have murdered him myself.”
His words stun me, not so much by the bluntness, but the anguish in his tone.
“And I will give you this, Mercedes. You are right.” He turns to look at me, his eyes softer than I’ve ever seen them. “I’ve failed you.”
“That wasn’t what I meant, Santi,” I croak. “I have never seen it that way.”
“Maybe not.” He shrugs. “But that’s because you want to see the best in me. It doesn’t change the fact that it’s true. I was supposed to protect you, and clearly, I’ve been failing for many years, far longer than I ever knew. You didn’t feel safe to come to me with this. You were just a little girl…” He swallows painfully. “And you endured it on your own. You’ve endured most things on your own. Yet I’ve never given you credit for it or tried to understand the reasons.”
“We were both just doing the best we could,” I answer in a whisper. “That’s all we knew how to do. It’s how we survived.”
He dips his head, shaking it as if he can’t accept that. Santi has always taken the responsibility of our family to heart, and I know it doesn’t matter what I say right now. He will feel guilt for not preventing or changing my fate regardless.
“I put you in this position by doing what I thought was best for you. I’ve made choices that altered your life irrevocably, and whether or not you regret it, I do. Because I can see now I’ve caused you further pain. And I can admit that perhaps I don’t know what’s best for you.” He stuffs his hands into his pockets, jaw set with reluctant determination. “What I want for you is simple. I can’t change what’s happened, but I can change how we go forward. And going forward, I want you to be happy.”
I open my mouth to respond, but he shakes his head, forcing the rest of the words out even though it’s obviously difficult for him.
“I know you’re capable of standing on your own. You’re old enough to make decisions for yourself, even if I don’t necessarily agree with them. It pains me to admit that I’ve made great miscalculations in judgment and entrusted you with people I shouldn’t.”
He doesn’t mention Judge by name, but it’s evident by the way his eyes flare that’s exactly who he’s referring to. I want to defend him, tell him it wasn’t Judge’s fault, but Santi doesn’t give me that chance.
“This is where we’re at. You said you want to live a life free from the rules, but I need you to be aware of what that choice means. Without being wedded, you will be an outcast from IVI. That I cannot change for you. They will whisper. They will judge you for it, even if it is irrational. So if this is the path you choose, I must advise you that you have to be willing to let that part of your life go. You will no longer attend the events. You won’t associate with your friends in The Society. You will have to accept a different life from the one you have always known. But in doing so, there is one assurance I can give you, and that is regardless of you severing those ties, there is one that can’t be broken. You are a De La Rosa. You are my family, my blood, and nothing will ever stand in the way of that. Do you understand?”
“I understand.” I blink through my glassy eyes. “That’s all I care about, Santi. If I can still see you and Ivy and Elena, I know everything else will be okay.”
He nods, clears his throat, and then speaks firmly. “I’m signing over your trust to you. You have my blessing to make a life for yourself outside. However, there is one point I won’t negotiate on. For my own peace of mind, I need to know you’re safe, so you will have two guards watching over you until this situation with Vincent Douglas is resolved. Do you accept these terms?”
I can’t help it. Despite my promises to myself that I wouldn’t cry, moisture gathers at the edges of my eyes. And much to my brother’s discomfort, I don’t give him my answer verbally. I take the first difficult step, closing the distance between us and pulling him into a forced hug. His arms hang awkwardly at his sides until he slowly wraps them around me.