Total pages in book: 106
Estimated words: 101051 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 505(@200wpm)___ 404(@250wpm)___ 337(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 101051 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 505(@200wpm)___ 404(@250wpm)___ 337(@300wpm)
“Understood,” she says, her eyes on her plate.
“Would you look at me?”
“Sure.” She lifts her gaze to meet mine, and her eyes look less like smoked honey and more like hard amber. “You don’t have to continue reminding me where I stand. If you’d have bothered to ask, you’d know I’m not interested in having a relationship at all. But I’m especially not interested in one with Dr. McBroody Pants.”
I frown. “Dr. who?”
She shakes her head and averts her gaze. “I’m not an easy screw and I’m not looking for love. I’m here to do a job, so please stop assuming I have any other intentions.” She pushes away from the table and leaves the room.
I watch her go, feeling duly chastised but also rejected.
Just because you want more from her, that doesn’t mean it goes both ways.
Nicole
“But Nana, I don’t want you to go.”
“I’ll be back,” her grandmother says.
Lilly’s bottom lip trembles, but I can tell by the firm line of her shoulders and the tilt of her chin that she’s determined not to cry. That alone tugs at my heart. I know what it’s like to be a little girl who has to be braver than she wants to be.
Dinner’s been cleaned up and the leftovers have been put away. Carter and Levi already said their goodbyes and headed home, and now Jake is supposed to take Kathleen to a hotel by the Grand Rapids airport so she can catch an early flight to New York. There, she’s meeting the friend who’s going to accompany her to Europe—or, at least, that’s what she’s told them. I’m not sure which parts of her story are true and which are fabricated, but I think it’s easier if it stays that way.
“You’ll miss Thanksgiving and Christmas.” Lilly’s hushed voice suggests she’s saying something shameful.
“How about we do one of those video chats? I’ll make sure I’m somewhere with the best internet connection so I can see my girl’s face on Thanksgiving Day. And on Christmas . . .” Kathleen looks at me and her chin quivers. “We’ll have to see about that.”
Because she’ll be further along with her treatments then and might not want Lilly to see her at all. Because she wouldn’t want Lilly or Ethan to see her ill on Christmas when they lost Elena at Christmas.
Jesus. This whole situation is awful.
“But we’ll video-chat on Thanksgiving?” Lilly asks.
“Yes. Because you . . .” Kathleen touches the tip of the girl’s nose. “You are what I’m most grateful for.”
Oh hell. My eyes burn. I’ve only known these people for a day, and I’m getting choked up.
Lilly wraps her arms around her grandmother’s neck and squeezes her hard. “I’m grateful for you too, Nana.”
“Draw me a picture while I’m gone.”
“I’ll draw you one hundred.”
“Then I’ll put them all together and have Mr. Vanguilder at the paper shop bind them into a book for me. I’ll put it on my shelf and keep it forever. Something you can be proud of.”
Lilly looks over her shoulder at me and then back to her grandmother. “I’ll be okay,” she says with a nod. “Nic will take care of me.”
“Yes, she will. I know it.”
Guilt knots in my stomach. I hate misleading these people. I have every faith in my ability to care for Lilly, and with the exception of my name, everything I told Ethan from the moment I came to his door has been true. But the guilt remains anyway.
“My plane leaves very early,” Kathleen says, looking at me. “I need to head over to my hotel so I can try to get some sleep. Ethan, you make sure to help Nic settle in.”
“You enjoy your trip,” Ethan says to his mother. “When you get back, we’ll have a second Christmas.” He looks at his daughter. “With the cabin decorated and presents under the tree.”
“Yay! Double Christmas!” Lilly shouts.
Kathleen wraps me in a hug, and in a whisper so low I can barely hear it, she says, “Thank you. Without you, this would all fall apart.”
On my second full day at Ethan’s, I’m not sure what to do with myself after I drop Lilly off at school. I used all my nervous energy to clean the house yesterday, so I’m without even the excuse of chores to keep me busy.
Maybe I should use the time to get weather-appropriate clothes. There are only so many ways I can cycle through the outfits Teagan let me borrow. Today I’m wearing her black leggings with one of my sundresses, my boots, and the flannel I wore on my first night in town, and I can’t decide if the look is hobo-chic or just hobo.
On the drive to Kathleen’s last night, I saw a sign for Walmart, so I’ll go there first. As tempting as it is to run my sister’s credit card up with debt for designer clothes, I know myself well enough to realize that I’ll inevitably decide to pay her back. When that day comes, I’d prefer to have as few regrets as possible.